Page 167 of If Ever

Barbie didn't look like the maternal type. "And did she have the baby?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure I know the answer.

Tom stands and turns away. "She got rid of it." When he faces me again, his eyes are filled with sadness. He looks away and then adds. "So she could go on tour."

"I'm so sorry."

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I know a lot of guys would be happy not to have to deal with an unplanned kid, but I'm not that guy."

I'm not sure what to say. It's a horrible thing and he's still feeling the shock.

He paces the room. "I just can't fathom how she could do that, and then she used the information as a bargaining chip. She's a whack job."

He stops and looks at me. "That's why I didn't come back right away. I was so frustrated and shocked. I needed time to process."

"It's okay, you don't have to say any more." Now I feel terrible for jumping to conclusions.

"Yes, I do. I want you to understand why I didn't at least call you back. As I was headed home, Sean called about a last minute screen test for a movie I'm up for." He pauses and our eyes meet.

"That's huge, isn't it?" I had no idea, of course, because he keeps his secrets.

"Yeah. It would be a dream come true. I would have called you, but my phone died while I was talking to Sean. I had to get straight to the studio and had no chance to call."

"Never mind that. How did it go?"

"It took all afternoon. The part is between me and another guy, but I was so off my game, I honestly don't remember half of it. Now it's just a matter of time before Sean calls with the bad news."

I go to him. "Maybe not. Maybe you're exactly what they want."

"Maybe. I've got enough irons in the fire, one's bound to hit eventually."

"I've made such a mess of things."

"You? I think it was me. Can we put this behind us?"

"I'd like nothing more." He hugs me, his strong arms warm around my back. I've missed him so much and he feels so safe. I reluctantly release him. “Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you that the other day I got a letter from my dad.”

He leans back and eyes me. “And?”

“Actually it was from his lawyer.” I explain what the letter said and give him my take that it was a final action to end his connection to me.

Tom shakes his head. “Maybe he felt guilty when he found out what happened to you.”

“I’d like to think so, but somehow I don’t think he’s the sensitive type.” This is the longest I've been awake in days and all this talk is catching up with me. I return to the couch.

Tom takes my dishes away and returns with a glass of ice water, more medicine, and my phone. "I hate to leave, but I've got to get to work."

I snatch it. "Where did you find it?"

"Between the nightstand and bed. It must have fallen during your mad dash to escape," he says lightly, but I sense his hurt. I look at him more closely and see dark circles under his eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to come over here to take care of me. You're exhausted."

He gives up a sad smile. "I'm just thankful you're safe."

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