Page 157 of If Ever

I force a laugh. "Isn't that her job as mother of the bride?"

"If it is, she's doing an excellent job. I can't wait for you to get here next month. You're number one job as Maid of Honor is to keep my mother away from me."

Not having my mom makes Anna's words sting, but Anna lost her dad to the war in Iraq when she was little, so she always gets a pass. "Of course, it'll be a cinch."

"Distract me from my wedding prep blues. Tell me something fun about life in New York. Tom must be happy to have all of us out of his apartment."

My sore throat squeezes tight as I picture him walking away. I take a breath before answering. There's no reason to tell her anything right now, but then my eyes land on the shattered planter.

"Oh, Anna, everything's a mess." I blurt out in my strained voice and drop to the couch.

"What's wrong? Is he still mad?"

"No," I fight back a sob. "Some old girlfriend showed up saying she's moving into the extra bedroom. When Tom told her no, she whispered in his ear and he dropped everything to go with her. That was this morning and I haven't heard from him all day."

"Did you call?"

"Of course. He didn't pick up, and he's ignored all my texts."

"Sorry. I just thought maybe..."

I hug myself and look around the apartment. "I've spent the whole day waiting for him. Wondering. Worrying. I've turned into a pathetic, spineless woman freaking out that I'm losing my man. I hate myself."

"No. It's natural you'd be worried. What did he say about her?"

"Nothing. But you know that ugly dead plant in the living room? It was hers and he kept it all this time. What the hell does that mean?"

"That she's dead to him?"

I kick a piece of broken glass across the room. "Or that he couldn't bear to let her go?"

"I'm sure it means nothing. It'll be fine."

I take my seat by the window. The cold air seeps through. "Anna, it doesn't feel like that. I have this horrible feeling that this is it. Ever since I saw my dad, things have been different."

"You didn't tell me that."

"Kind of I did. You saw Tanya in the show. She's been after him from the beginning. And the way girls fall all over him after every performance and say they love him."

"He's a successful actor. That's how it works."

Deep down I know this, but right now I can't see past any of it. "Add to that an old flame shows up looking like the cover of Vogue, and off he goes without a backwards glance. I can't handle it."

"What are you saying?" Concern colors her voice.

"Maybe I'm the rebound girl and now his true love is back."

"Stop that. You're talking yourself into the worst-case scenario. Tom's crazy about you. He held your hair while you threw up, for Pete’s sake."

I burst into tears. "How much time does he need?"

"Don't cry. You're sick and not thinking straight."

"What if he comes back with her, or she comes on her own? Oh my God, I totally forgot." I turn to the door in alarm. "She has a key and could walk in at any moment." A new panic consumes me.

"I doubt she'd do that."

I rush to the door, double locking it. "There's no chain, just the main lock and the deadbolt, which she can get through."

---