Page 15 of If Ever

Dominic starts laughing. "I thought you were just confident and comfortable on camera. Why did you agree to do the show? You could have said no."

"Since I graduated, I've been working for this international acquisitions firm. I hated it. They're a bunch of overpaid pompous jerks. This seemed like a ridiculous excuse to get out of it." I don't mention that a little part of me, the little girl who dreamed of rainbows and unicorns, thought it would be like living out a childhood fantasy to dress up like a princess.

"That's rich." He drains his beer. "So neither one of us is all that jazzed about this season and yet, here we are."

"Here we are," I agree.

"We have two options the way I figure it. We can give up, crash and burn, and be outta here..." He pauses.

"Or?"

"Or, we say 'screw it' and have a good time. Either way we're probably going home next week, but at least if we give it our all, maybe you can leave with a few good memories." He lifts his glass with a sardonic smile.

It would be nice to turn this nightmare around, so I raise my glass to his. "Let's do it."

"Talk about the first day of school all over again," I say to Anna as I climb out of my car and approach the official Celebrity Dance Off rehearsal building. Now that a couple people are off the show, Dominic and I get to join the rest of the cast.

"You're one of the cool kids now too," she laughs.

But I don't feel or look like one of them. I enter the two-story building and show my ID to the security guy. Apparently on occasion they have overzealous fans try to sneak in, and as it's my first day here, he'd have no idea who I am if it weren't for the list on his clipboard.

Inside there is a well-lit hallway with a changing area off to one side and a break room with fresh snacks, a microwave, and full-size fridge off to the other. Muffled music sounds from behind a couple of closed doors and arguing from another. I peek through the narrow window and see Shane, the young Olympic diver getting dressed down by pro Cassie, a redheaded fireball who I'd never want to cross.

Each room I pass is occupied, and still no Dominic. I glance in another window. Hank is saying something to Sonya that makes her laugh.

At the end of the hall I find Dominic on his phone in a common area with a couch, recliners, and large plants. He waves and finishes his call. "You found it."

"This place is a lot different than where we were rehearsing before," I say, admiring the bright lighting and fresh paint.

"Yeah, it's Cadillac. You ready for some quick step?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Upstairs in an open rehearsal room, our producer and cameraman are deep into a bag of sugared doughnuts. I set my bag next to the wall and soak up the cheery room. One wall is covered in mirrors, the opposite with windows overlooking the parking lot. The polished wood floors gleam in the natural light.

Dominic connects his phone to the Wi-Fi for our music. "As long as you're willing to try your best, we'll have a fighting chance."

"I'm ready." I step into the middle of the room, eager to dive in.

But it turns out I'm not ready at all. After two hours of stumbling and swearing at my own ineptness over the intricate steps, Dominic admits the quick step is one of the more difficult dances for a beginner to learn. Unlike our short tempers from the first few weeks though, we're actually laughing, mostly at my screw ups, but it's a relief to relax and have some fun.

The days fly by, rehearsals, meetings for costumes, concept, and set design. At Anna’s urging, I finally bite the bullet and go shopping for the latest in cute dance clothes.

At night, I practice every last toe point, arm position, and frame hold. First I type up the moves on my laptop so I don't forget, then mark through the steps repeatedly until my brain knows them inside and out. I may not be a dancer, but that doesn't mean I can't do my best to fake it. I've learned one thing in life, and it's that if you want something, you have to work your ass off to get it.

Before dropping into bed each night, I kick back with my e-reader and put something other than dance steps in my brain. Anna calls a lot to make sure I'm not losing my mind or becoming a total hermit in my Hollywood hideaway, but so far all I've lost is two toenails from my aching feet.

Suddenly it's Monday again and we're huddled backstage waiting for our entrance. I'm wearing a frothy, ankle-length dress. I've survived my first spray tan where I stripped down so a complete stranger could spray chemicals over every nook and cranny of my pale skin. Dominic is dapper wearing a dark suit. He got the better end of the deal.

I shake out my hands as if that will release my nerves. My heart is pounding, but with excitement and not the terrible dread I've felt in the past. I tug at my bodice, wishing I could cover the plunging neckline. The dress is backless, leaving me bare and feeling every bit of cool air as someone walks past.

"I feel half naked."

"Nah, just enough to keep the viewers happy. Trust me, the more skin you show, the better our scores will get."

I shake my head. If that's the truth, how pathetic.

Dominic speaks softly as we're introduced. "You've done the work, now let's go out there and have fun." He takes my hand and leads us to our starting position. "Smiling is good too," he adds with a grin.

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