Page 146 of If Ever

He lays there quietly, catching his breath, and coming down from the high-octane energy of performance mode. I experience the same thing on Celebrity Dance Off, but I only had to maintain the energy for a few minutes while on camera. He has to do it for most of two and half hours.

"How are you?" He tilts his head my direction, concern in his eyes.

"I'm not trying to pry open the window to jump, so you can stop worrying."

He smiles and I sense his relief.

"But I have been thinking."

"What about?"

"Life, big stuff, small stuff, you know."

"And?" He takes my hand.

"I’ve been bouncing around for a while with no real direction. Running into my dad made me realize that I've spent most of my life trying to please others."

He listens closely with concern etched on his handsome face.

“He’s my only living family, and he can’t bear to be in the same room with me.” I pull my hand away.

“Your father is an idiot.”

I stand and go to the window. The street is illuminated by the bright marquee, but few people are out. “Maybe so, but I need to fix things. I can’t keep living this way.

"As long as it doesn't take you away from me, I'm all for it."

I turn to face him. “If you’re sure you still want me around after seeing my dark side.”

Tom joins me and puts his arms around me. “Always. Nothing could change that.”

But I’m not so sure.

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