Page 47 of Raptor

The smile I get in return is huge. "That, darlin', sounds like a plan, but you're in pain and I don't want you hurtin' goin' down the stairs."

I press a kiss to his lips. "I'll be fine. Besides, I've got work to do and I'm going to do it downstairs while you feed him. Then we'll have breakfast?"

He deepens the kiss slightly, still being as gentle as he can. "Sounds good, but knowin' Pyro and Chloe, they'll want us at the clubhouse today."

I wince. God, I don't want that. Not only does Pyro think that I'd lie to Shane about Shay's paternity, but I'll have to deal with Chloe's anger and disappointment that I never confided in her about my pregnancy or what was going on with Micah, and that will lead to a whole new set of questions about Jess, and that's just things I won't answer.

"Alright, darlin', you go make our boy's bottle and then we'll talk."

I sigh. I should have known that would happen. But I trust Shane, and I feel as though I can tell him anything, including everything that has happened with Jess. I get to my feet and make my way downstairs. It's slow going, my wound pulling with each step I take, but it's manageable.

It doesn't take long for me to make Shay's bottle. Once it's done, I place it on the coffee table and reach for my laptop. There are a slew of messages waiting for me on the database for The Agency, which means I have a lot of work to catch up on.

I get started as I hear Shane moving around upstairs in my bedroom. He's taken to being a dad a lot easier than I had expected, and I love that he's taking everything in his stride.

Shay’s cries pierce the air, and within seconds I hear Shane’s deep voice soothing him. I smile when I hear Shay’s cries lessen. He’s a natural at this.

Happiness is too tame of a word for what I’m feeling right now. I have everyone I care about in this house—Ma too when she comes home. I finally have what I’ve always dreamed of.

The sofa dips beside me and I turn to see Shane cradling Shay in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth.

"Hey there, little man," I coo, pressing a soft kiss to Shay's forehead. I reach for the bottle and hand it to Shane. Of course, Shay gets excited the moment he sees the bottle in his dad’s hand.

I swallow hard when I see his tiny hand clutching on to Shane's finger as he guzzles down his bottle.

Shane looks over at me with a soft smile, his eyes filled with unspoken understanding and affection. God, I’m so very lucky.

"Okay, darlin', tell me about your job," Shane says once he and Shay are in a rhythm. My little boy is happily drinking his bottle, content to be in his dad's arms.

"Have you heard of The Agency?" I ask him, wondering how much I'm going to have to explain.

His eyes narrow. "You meanThe Agency, the one that's run by Melissa Harding Gallagher?" he questions, his voice hard.

"Yeah," I sigh. I guess I don't need to go into too much detail. "I email their clients with their next target."

He blinks. "Christ, Mallory," he hisses. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"I needed money," I snap. "Do you know how hard it was to watch Ma give up her dream job, the job she worked her ass off to get? She spent the past fifteen years making it up the ladder. She's now confined to working from home. She's not doing as much as she used to so she's lost a lot of benefits. Everything she worked hard for, Shane, is gone, and it's all my fault. I had to do what was needed to get money to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. I needed money to save in case we had to leave. Working for The Agency isn't something I wanted to dobut it pays better than anything else and it means I can work from home."

The anger leaves his eyes and he glances down at our son. "Baby," he says quietly. "That call we had, the night Stephen killed that man. I remember every fuckin' word. You'd never seen anyone be killed before. It fuckin' affected you. How are you copin' doin' this?"

I close my eyes. "The nightmares are always going to be there, Shane. They're so fucking hard that I wake up in a blind panic. The second I wake up, I'm scrambling to find Shay. My nightmares aren't about Jarlath. Hell, they're not about the nameless targets I'm giving to the clients. I dream about Micah and the shit he's going to do to our son. I know he won't just stop with me. He's not going to let me off that easily. He's made that perfectly clear. I'm merely someone for him to toy with, and when he gets bored, he's going to hurt those I love." I swipe away at the tears that are falling thick and fast. "I can do this job because I've been through enough fucking pain that I'm numb to it all now. I can do the job because it means giving me money so I can assure that our son is taken care of."

"Okay," he says with a nod. "I get it. If it's not affectin' you then, darlin', do whatever you need to do."

"Thanks for the permission," I respond a little tartly.

"Now, there's one last question and I'll leave you be for a while," he says, and I laugh. We both know that's bullshit. "Why are you worried about seeing Chloe?"

I sigh. "I guess I need to tell you about Jess," I say softly as I place my laptop down on the coffee table. I glance at Shay and see he's still content drinking his bottle, his tiny finger still curled around Shane's. "Jess' mam died when she was fourteen. It was unexpected and it changed Jess' life."

He nods. "I'd say losin' your parent at that age would do that."

"I got a call the night of her mam's funeral. She was in so much pain and needed help. I had no idea what happened to her. I met her close to my house, and she was practically doubled over in pain." I bring my legs up to my chest and rest my head against my knees. The memories of that night are still fresh. "I brought her home and Ma was gone. She was away for work. I think she was gone for a month that time."

He shakes his head, the disapproval clear in his eyes.

"The moment we got in the house, she lost it. She was screaming, crying, and she began to vomit. I had no idea what the hell was happening. I was so scared." I blow out a big breath. "Then she took off the big overcoat she was wearing. She was practically naked. God, Shane, it was fucking awful." I can't stop the tears from flowing as I remember what her back looked like. "Her dad had lost his mind. He was so angry that he poured lighter fluid on her back and set her alight."

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