Page 27 of Raptor

Seventy-five minutes later, I have a beautiful baby boy in my arms. There may have been a lot of curse words and threatsmade to Raptor's appendage while I was in the throes of labor, but now that I'm holding my baby in my arms, I feel so content. God, I can't believe I'm a mam now.

"Wow," Jess says in awe. "That was beautiful. Thank you for letting me be a part of it. I'm so in love with my nephew."

"I wouldn't have had it any other way," I assure her. "Thank you for being here with us."

I glance down at my son, who's fast asleep against my chest, and know I'll do whatever it takes to protect him from anything that threatens to harm him.

Chapter 11

Mallory

I'm exhausted. Every piece of my body feels tired. But looking at Shay, I can't help but be grateful that I feel that way. I love my son, and it's hard to believe that he's finally here. It's been almost twenty-four hours since he was born and we're being discharged. I get to take him home with me and I'm so damn excited. Ma's taken time off work to spend with us and help me if I need it. I also love that she gets that time to bond with Shay also.

"You ready?" Ma asks as she comes to stand next to me. She's been really good. She's not taken over like I thought she may have. Instead, she's standing back and following my lead. I struggled with breastfeeding, and instead of letting me wallow in self-pity at failing, she told me about how she, too, couldn't get into it and that as long as the baby is fed, that's all that's important.

"Yeah. Is he strapped in okay?" I ask, looking at Shay in his car seat.

"Mallory," she whispers, placing her arm around my shoulders, "the midwife checked and assured you he is. He's perfectly strapped in. You're doing great. Don't doubt yourself."

This is why she's the shit. She's so supportive. I wish I had spoken to her years ago about the neglect that I had felt due to her working all the time. Had I done, maybe things would have been different a while ago. But I'm glad that she's here and we've been able to grow our relationship. I have no doubt that she's going to be the best granny ever.

It takes a while longer before we're discharged, and the moment I'm in the car with Shay strapped in beside me, I feel at ease. I can't wait to be home with him and just take the time to bond.

"You hungry, love?" Ma asks. "I can stop off at McDonald's drive thru, if you'd like."

I groan in happiness. "Yes, please."

Ma laughs. "Okay. Same as usual?"

"Like you have to ask."

Ma orders me a chicken burger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake, while she has a beef burger, fries, and a diet coke. Shay's fast asleep. He seems to like the car. Within minutes of Ma driving, he was drifting off. I tuck into the food, my gaze focused on my boy, who's snoring softly. I wonder if he could get any cuter. He's got dark hair that covers the majority of his head. Ma and the midwife told me it could fall out as he gets older but not to worry as it'll grow back.

"Is there anything you need before we go home?" Ma asks as she nears the edge of the city.

"I don't think so, do I?"

She laughs softly. "We'll do an inventory when we get home. I think we may need to get some formula. The little you have will probably only last through the night.

"Oh, and probably some more nappies," I groan as I lean my head back against the rest.

"Don't worry. Once you're home and settled, I'll run to the shop and get the bits we need until it's time to do the full shop. That gives us a little time to think if we need anything else."

I continue to eat as Ma talks about getting a photo shoot done for newborns, and while it sounds amazing, I have to make a call first. It's time for Raptor to know he has a son. It's going to be a hard conversation, and I have no doubt that he'll be mad, but I did what I thought was best. Though now I'm regretting it. I should have told him from the get-go. He deserved to be with me at the hospital. I hate that I've not let him have that experience, and I understand if he never wants to speak to me again. I just pray that he'll want to know his son.

We arrive home and Ma helps me out of the car and carries a sleeping Shay into the house. I manage to get him out of the car seat and into the crib without waking him.

I lie down on the bed beside the crib and watch him sleep. He's so peaceful. I love watching him sleep. I adore that contented sigh he gives when he's snoring. I reach for my cell and search through the contacts, the ones I saved before I left my original cell at our home. I hit call on the number, my heart racing, my stomach clenching. God, I hope he answers. I really hope he does.

"We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service."

My heart shatters at the message. Why isn't his number in service? Crap. What have I done?

Tears gather in my eyes and I shut them tight, not wanting them to fall. Damn it. Why did I push him away? I turn over and cry softly into my pillow, careful not to make too much noise and wake Shay. I feel heartbroken. I feel as though I've lost Raptor, and I have no one to blame but myself. Had I been open and honest with him from the beginning, we may not be in this mess.

God, I'm such a bitch. I fucked up. Majorly. I just pray there's a way to fix it.

A weird sensationfalls over me and I wake with a start. My eyes adjust to the darkness, and my heart starts to race as I see a tall figure standing over me. He's right beside Shay's crib. I swallow back a scream as I feel the sharp edge of a knife at my throat.

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