“Maybe it’s a flat dinosaur,” I said jokingly. I turned away from the dishes and leaned against the front of the sink so I could see what the goodies inside the package were.
“Mommy,” Leo complained. He could have told me exactly why a dinosaur couldn’t have fit in that envelope. At least he was beginning to understand when I was being silly.
He tore open the package with the enthusiasm of ripping into presents on Christmas morning. Marci helped him pour out the contents. There was a bunch of bills that hadn’t been properly forwarded, a small envelope that looked like a card with Marci’s name scrolled across the front in Davey’s handwriting, and a large paper board envelope.
“What’s this?” Leo asked as he lunged for the large paperboard envelope.
“What does it say?” Marci prompted.
He was getting so good at reading that we were constantly encouraging him to read everything. He studied the envelope for a long time
“Why is this number crossed out?” he asked Marci. He pointed to different words on the front of the envelope. “That says return to sender on the yellow sticker, and that says love, and that’s Mommy’s name.”
“What? Let me see, please?” I tried not to rush across the small space and snatch the envelope from Leo’s hands. “This was sent to Kyle, but it looks like it was returned to the lab.” I picked at the multiple address labels on the front.
“Holy crap, is that the…” Marci twisted her face, trying to find the right words she could say in front of Leo. It wasn’t like we could actually spell anything out around him anymore.
I bit my lip and started nodding like some kind of bobble head.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what this is.”
“But what is it?” Leo asked.
I shot Marci a panicked look. She swooped in and grabbed Leo and began tickling his ribs.
“I think it’s boring work stuff,” she said as she swung him around before setting him on his feet.
Leo giggled and ran out of the kitchen.
“What are you gonna do?” Marci asked.
I had no idea. I was holding the test results for Kyle and Leo’s paternity test. This had to be the copy that was supposed to have been delivered to Kyle.
“This probably explains why he told me he didn’t get his test results,” I said.
“And why it took them so long to get your copy sent to you.” Marci finished the thought for me. “Maybe going with the cheap drugstore test wasn’t the best idea.”
“Maybe not.” I shrugged. “But it’s what we did.”
Marci raised her brows and stared at me. I knew she wanted me to say something, but I honestly wasn’t sure what to do. My insides felt like indecisive, panicked goo.
“I think I’ll finish the dishes and maybe when that’s done, I’ll have a better clue about what to do about this.” I shook the envelope.
“Let me know if I need to run interference with the kiddo,” Marci said.
“Right now, I can’t even process all of this,” I admitted.
I tried to let my mind go blank while I finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. I hoped that I could somehow reach a state of decision-making clarity and Zen. By the time I was done, I was just as confused as before. I let out a long, slow breath as I sank onto a chair and stared at the envelope from the paternity testing place. I didn’t need to open it because I knew what it said. However, this was meant for Kyle, and he didn’t know conclusively that he was Leo’s father. Making a decision, I stood up and found Marci and Leo on the couch watching TV.
“I’m going to take a walk. Are you good here?” I asked.
Leo didn’t look up, but Marci gave me the thumbs-up signal. “I’ve got my phone. Just let me know if you’re going to be late,” she said.
I grabbed my phone and put on a jacket before heading out the door. I was getting used to the weather here. While it wasn’t very nice out, overcast and cold, it was still better than the snow and wind back in Chicago. I didn’t walk very far before I pulled out my phone and unblocked Kyle’s phone number.
I stared at it for far too long. I didn’t know if I could handle talking to him. I started to text him, but the words would not come out right.
Finally, I texted.Are you still in Seattle?