I wasn’t feeling particularly festive. I could have been at a party drinking champagne. Instead, I was alone in a cold apartment, aware that other people were having fun while I was alone due to my own stupid decisions.
If I were in Chicago, I could’ve been wearing warm pajamas. And they would be matching the pajamas that Clarissa and Leo also had on. Because she would do something like that. Understanding that Clarissa needed her private space, I would have invited them over to spend the new year with me, or I would have gotten that little lake house again where we could have celebrated like a cozy little family.
I could have spent Christmas with them. I could’ve made a snowman with Leo. I could have gotten Clarissa something really nice because she deserved nice things. Only, I wasn’t there, and I was fairly certain she no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.
This was a shitty way to end the year. Only a couple of hours earlier had I truly realized how much I'd messed up.
In the time since I left Chicago, Alayna had chewed me out more than once for having abandoned the Chicago office while it was in its infancy. But tonight, she let me have it for having left Clarissa.
“I can’t believe you did this to her twice, Kyle.” Alayna had never been furious with me in all the time she had worked for me. She had only ever gotten truly angry with me a few times. She had even put up with relocating to Hong Kong for several years before putting her foot down and demanding to return to Chicago. Even then, it hadn’t occurred to me that she would quit being my assistant.
“I don’t know what she has told you—” I started to defend myself.
“Shut up and listen to me, “Alayna demanded. “You’ve broken something in her. She hasn’t said anything, but it is clear she is struggling. Did you even bother to send her a congratulations when she completed her coursework and was allowed to graduate early?”
“I thought you would take care of that,” I admitted.
“Of course, I took care of that from the office, but that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking if you personally have reached out to her at all?”
“I haven’t,” I admitted.
“I hope you find comfort in your steel beams and glass walls because if this is how you treat someone who clearly cares about you, you don’t deserve any better.” She hung up on me.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I yelled into empty space.
My phone immediately pinged with a text from Alayna. I expected her to say that there was interference on the phone or some technical reason the call ended. The text said,See your email.
I opened my laptop and launched the email program. There was one from Alayna waiting for me. It was titledChicago Office Updates. I opened the email, wondering why Alayna was still at work before my brain caught up with the fact that it was still just before lunchtime in Chicago and people would still be working even though it was the last day of the year.
I began reading.
Here is a quick update regarding the Chicago office situation. The stairs are in, and the remodel should be completed in the next few weeks. Phillip and Steve are a phenomenal team and work well with James and with clients. Nick has given notice and is transferring to a firm in New York. Also, I quit.
I immediately tried to call her back.
“I take it you read my email?” she asked immediately upon answering the phone.
“Alayna, you can’t quit,” I begged.
“You can’t pay me enough to continue to work for someone with the basic lack of empathy you have exhibited toward Clarissa.”
“You’re quitting because of the intern?” I practically snarled.
“No, I’m quitting because of the way you have treated somebody who clearly loves you. You can’t be bothered to break up with her in person. You just left her.”
“She needs to get over that mistake. It was years ago,” I said.
“I’m not talking about whatever happened between the two of you before, Kyle. I’m talking about what happened less than two months ago. I see her almost every day, and she knows that I talk to you. I’m stuck knowing that you won’t talk to her. I can’t do this anymore.”
“You can’t do what?”
“Support someone who is so callous. We had a good run, but it is time for me to move on.”
“What am I supposed to do without you?” I asked.
“I suggest you try to get your shit together and your priorities in order. I am leaving all of the client contact information and pertinent files in the competent hands of Jenna. She’ll be in touch at the start of the year to find out whom she should transfer information to while you are in Hong Kong. I doubt she’ll be as flexible as I have been.” She spoke so evenly, so clearly, like she always did.
“Alayna, you can’t.”