Page 86 of Redeeming

I don’t yell. I take a few calming breaths and walk closer to the fireplace I’ve been loving this winter and control my voice. “It’s not better because you don’t mean it. For sorry to mean anything, you have to mean it. And you don’t think you did anything wrong.”

“No. I don’t. I think I was protecting my sister?—”

“Fuck you, Maddox. I don’t need protecting. Everyone assumes I’m some weak damsel in distress, but I was raised in the same house as you by the same parents. If you’d stop treating me like glass, you might realize I’m not as breakable as you think.” I close my eyes and try very,very, very fucking hard to take a calming breath. “What did you think you were protecting me from? Callen?”

Maddox’s shoulders tighten, and his jaw clenches.

Oh yeah, that’s it.

Callen.

“You’re my kid sister, Cait. The first memory I have of you is Dad telling me it was my job as your big brother to take care of you.” Maddox impressively manages not to raise his voice either. Look at us, acting like adults.Still an asshole.He pounds his fist against his chest.“My job.”

I hate this.

I hate everything about this.

Everything.

“I was never not safe, Maddox. The only person in the world I ever thought I could be safe with outside of our family was Callen.” I rub my side, and Maddox’s eyes catch the move.

“Was?”

My brother never misses a thing.

Damn him.

“It still is, smart-ass,” and I hate him a little for making me admit that. “It’s more complicated now, but I still know I’m safe with him.”

My heart might not be safe, but my life is.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you, Cait.” And this time when he says it, I believe him.

But it’s still too little, too late.

“He was your best friend, Maddox,” I argue because he might be sorry for how he treated me, but it’s not enough. “He’s Callen, and he was going through hell. And you hit him.”

“Caitie—”

“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t you dareCaitieme. He deserved better than that, Maddox. Shame on you for not thinking more of Callen. Shame on you for not trusting him. For thinking he’d do something like fuck your sister like she was trash.”

“Caitlin,” he bites out, angry again.

“No, Maddox. You came here to make it better. Well, I’m telling you what you need to do to make it better,” I yell, no longer giving a shit that my voice is raised. “I need you to hear me, big brother. To really listen to what I’m telling you because, honest to God, it matters.”

“Fine. What are you telling me?” He looks annoyed, but he knows he’s lost the high ground here. I’m pregnant and stubborn, and I’m winning this battle. “Spell it out for me.”

“I’m telling you that if you want to fix anything with me... if you want to be involved in your niece’s life, you’re going to make things right with Callen. Because until you do that, there is no relationship between you and me to save.”Shit. That felt good. Empowering.

“You’ve got to be kidding me...” He shoves his hand through his hair, and I manage not to laugh in his face because this asshole is so mad at Callen, but I swear to God, they’re two sides of the same coin.

“Nope. Fix it. Apologize for being an insensitive prick who didn’t trust his best friend. Because that man respected you andme. If he’d had his way, he would have called you the very first day we got together. It’s only because I begged him to wait until you came home that he even considered waiting.” I hate that I’m defending Callen almost as much as I hate the idea of Maddox thinking he has a right to be mad at him. “Callen didn’t do anything wrong. If you fix it with him, then it’ll be fixed with me.”

The most annoying smile I’ve ever laid eyes on slides in place on Maddox’s face. “Then how come I hear you’re still barely talking to him?”

“Check your sources. We’re talking.” I don’t share that we’rebarelytalking. He doesn’t need to know that.

“I don’t care what he says or what you say. It was wrong, Cait. We’re going to have to agree to disagree. Could I have handled it better?Maybe. But do you even remember the rest of the hell of that day? You almost died. We could have lost you and the baby, and we had only just found out about her. You threw us all for a fucking loop.”

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