Page 43 of Redeeming

Losing my nerve minute by minute.

Second by second.

Breath by jagged breath.

“I love you, Callen . . .”

“Cait—”

“Don’t. Not tonight. Don’t tell me whatever you’re about to say.Please...” I beg, and I’m not proud, but I’ll own it. I don’t want to hear whatever he’s thinking. “Just sleep tonight. The world might look different in the morning.”

Callen never says another word.

He holds me all night like a lifeline.

I’m not sure he ever actually sleeps.

And I’m fairly certain, hours later, once he thinks I’m asleep, he presses his lips to the top of my head. “I love you, Caitlin. Only you. Only ever you. I promise... I’m sorry.”

Iwake up to an empty bed and cold sheets the next morning, and my heart sinks.

I’d hoped last night was a dream. That I’d been wrong. But then I remember his words whispered in the darkness, and I know they were real. They were a goodbye.

I stifle a sob and get out of bed, half expecting to be alone in the condo. For Callen to have snuck out like a thief in the night, but I guess that’s hard to do when this is your home. Instead, I find Callen in the kitchen, dressed and nursing a cup of coffee. He doesn’t look up when I walk in.

“Morning...” I mumble as I make a cup of coffee, certain caffeine is going to be required to deal with whatever bullshit Callen is about to sling my way.

He looks up from the iPad in front of him, and I suck in a breath.

He looks awful.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” I reach out to run my fingers along his face, but Callen catches my hand in his, stopping me.

“I’m moving out, Caitlin.” His voice is cold and scratched and utterly emotionless.

“What?” I gasp and drop my coffee to the table. “You can’t be serious.”

He lets go of my hand and wipes up my spilled coffee with his napkin like he didn’t just take my heart and smash it into a million tiny, jagged pieces. “I’m taking over Cooper’s old place. It’s already furnished, so I’m going to take my stuff over there today.”

“Callen... If you need to tell Maddox now, fine. Do it. You don’t need to move out.” I know I’m grasping at straws, but I’ve got to grasp at something.

He scrubs his face with his hands and shoves back from the table, scaring the shit out of me when he pulls away from me. “It’s not him, Cait. It’s us. It’s this. We don’t work. We shouldn’t have happened.”

“No,” I snap through angry tears. “You promised. We’re not a mistake, Callen.”

His shoulders drop for a single second, and I think I might get an actual answer before his shields go right back up. “Weare, Caitlin. This shouldn’t have happened, and it can’t happen again. This is what’s best.”

I shove his chest with all my strength. “Best for who? Because it’s not what’s best for me, and I don’t think it’s best for you either.”

He shutters his dark green eyes, hiding the anger that’s staring back at me.

“Tell me what I did. Why are you mad?” I shove him again when he stays silent, and I scream for both of us. “Give me a goddamned answer, Callen. You owe me that.”

When I lift my hand to shove him again, he catches my wrist. “You have an answer. You just don’t like it. We were a mistake. We can’t happen. I get it if you want to tell Maddox about us, and I’ll take the fucking blame. But Cait... thiswasa mistake.”

He drops my hand, and the look of utter contempt on his face scares me.

“You don’t love me, Caitie. You love the idea of me. You deserve someone who loves you, and that’s not me.” He nails my coffin closed and picks up a bag from the floor I hadn’t seen before, then walks out without another word.

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