Page 31 of Redeeming

Well... at least as far as anyone knows.

Not gonna lie. Now I kind of get it. At least I think I do.

I could easily see myself unable to keep my hands off Caitlin twenty years from now.

If Maddox doesn’t fucking kill me first.

“Come on, kid.” Cooper pushes through the door and grabs the fishing rods leaning against the back of the house and two beers from the outdoor fridge, and I follow him down to his new dock. He and Carys have always lived on the lake. But it was only about ten years ago that the land across the lake from them went on the market. They bought it, built this house, and have used their original house as a rental property ever since. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

I laugh. “You know you have actual kids. Ones I’m ten years older than, by the way.”

He casts his rod and cracks his beer. “Did I ever tell you when you were little and I lived on the other side of the country, I worried you wouldn’t know who the hell I was? You, Everly, and Gracie... the three of you barely knew me. And I swore when I came home, I’d fix it. Kid, by the time I was your age, I was married with three kids of my own. But getting to watch you grow up... Getting to be here for it. Not everyone gets that chance, and I was grateful. So, yeah. I guess you’ll always be a kid to me. I don’t mean it as disrespect.”

“Yeah...” I cast my rod and sit in an Adirondak chair next to him, definitely the one grateful now. Not just for Coop but all my crazy-ass siblings. “I don’t take it that way either. It just cracks me up.”

We sit in silence as the late afternoon sun dips down behind the falls across Kroydon Lake until Cooper finally pushes me. “You gonna tell me what’s bothering you? Is it Dad?”

“I mean... The stuff with Dadisfucking with me.”

It’s not a lie.

It’s not exactly the whole truth either.

“What else is on your mind, Callen?”

“You ever done something you knew was right but you knew it was fucked up too?” I ask, not ready to give him specifics but needing someone to talk to.

Caitlin wasn’t wrong this morning.

We rushed into things last night.

But how the hell can it be rushed when it’s been years in the making?

Cooper stares blankly at me before his lips curve. “I married your sister. Pretty sure a whole lot of people in our family thought it was pretty fucked up at first.”

“I’ve heard stories...” I nod, knowing there’s so much I don’t know. Probably don’t want to know. “How’d you handle knowing it could fuck up your relationship with Murphy?”

He, Murphy, Brady, and Caitlin’s Uncle Bash were all best friends growing up.

That didn’t change when Murphy’s mom married Cooper’s dad.

I’m betting it got complicated.

Almost thirty years later, we’re a powerhouse family.

Cooper looks at me. “Tell me you’re not in love with Bellamy Wilder.”

“What?” I laugh. “No.”

Bellamy’s brothers both married Sinclair sisters. Pretty sure that’s enough.

“Good. No need to keep it that much in the family.” He looks at my unopened beer, and his look changes. It hardens. “I’m not going to ask then. I’m just going to tell you to be sure. Before you hurt someone. Anyone... be sure whateveritis, is worth it.”

I stare off in the distance, knowing no matter what I do, I’m fucking over someone I love.

And that’s the thing about Caitlin... She’s Cait. Without ever saying it, I love her. I always have. Not in the same sense. But she’s always meant something to me. I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to hurt Maddox. I don’t want to fuck it all up.

“Can you imagine your life without her? Can you live without her touch?” Cooper asks, and I consider playing dumb, but I came today because Coop’s the brother who’d get it. Who would understand me without me ever having to fill in the blanks.

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