Page 25 of Dr. Grump's Surprise Baby

“You should be good at your job. You should be responsible. You should do all you can for them. If you do that, you’ll give them the best possible chance at recovering. But worrying doesn’t do them any good at all. All it does is distract you. You need to learn how to turn down that aspect of yourself.”

“That’s not going to be easy,” Emily admitted with a frown.

“Maybe not, but I’m telling you, it’s necessary. Remember, when you’re treating a patient, it’s not about you. It’s not about your feelings. It’s only ever about what the patient needs.”

“That’s why you’re so robotic with them,” she realized. “You’ve switched off your own emotions.”

“That’s the best thing to do if you want to really help a patient,” he said. “They have friends and family to help them with the emotional stuff. For a doctor… frankly, they need someone robotic. That’s what they want.”

She was quiet, stirring her glass of water with her straw.

“What?” he asked. “You’re thinking something.”

“I said I wouldn’t argue with you if we went out,” she said. “I told you I would just listen.”

“Well, if you’ve got something to say, say it.”

“It’s just…” She let out a sigh. “I haven’t told you why I wanted to become a doctor.”

“You did. You said that patient care was important to you.”

“I know, but I never told youwhy.”

“Okay,” he said. “Tell me now.”

“My sister, Ruth… she had leukemia when we were kids,” Emily murmured. “She died.”

“Oh.” He closed his eyes. Of course it would be something like that. It made perfect sense. That was why she was so focused on the feelings of the patients. “I’m so sorry to hear that. That must have been a difficult thing for your family to go through.”

“It would have been a lot harder if we hadn’t had the medical team we did,” Emily said. “We were surrounded by doctors and nurses who really cared about Ruth. They did everything they could for her — not just medically, but on a personal level. They brought her favorite foods to the hospital when she was struggling to eat. One of the nurses used to stay up all night with her when she was sick from the treatments and read her books. Her oncologist played video games with her. And when we found out she wasn’t going to make it, they were by our side every step of the way. They even came to the funeral.”

Dominic said nothing. He didn’t want to tell her the truth while they were talking about her sister, but he couldn’t imagine going to the funeral of any of his patients. That would be getting much too close. You just couldn’t afford to let your heart be broken like that if you were going to keep your head above water in the medical profession — youhadto detach.

“That’s why it means so much to me to connect with patients,” Emily explained. “I got into this to try to heal people and save lives, of course, but I also wanted to try to be a doctor like the ones that were there for my family. As hard as everything we went through was, it would have been so much worse if we hadn’t had a medical team that cared so much about us. I want to be that for someone else.”

“I can understand that,” Dominic admitted. He still thought it was a mistake on her part, but it was a mistake that he could comprehend. “It’s nice that you’re so passionate about it.”

“You think so?”

“I don’t agree with it, but yes, it’s nice,” Dominic said. “I can see why that experience would make you want to provide the same sort of care for other families.”

“I just think… well, I think it’s what Ruth would have wanted,” Emily said quietly. “I know you think I’m not being careful, that I’m going to get too attached and it’s going to make it too hard for me to do the job, but I think it doesn’t matter if that happens. I think that even if it is hard for me to do the job, it won’t be as hard as it will on our patients. They deserve to feel like they’re in the hands of a doctor who really cares. Someone who will think about them after leaving their room in the hospital. Someone who would come to their hospital and grieve if they died.”

“But you know that you can’t grieve over all of them, don’t you?” Dominic asked her. “Your grief would never stop. No matter how good a doctor you are, we are going to lose some of them. There’s no avoiding it.”

“I know,” Emily murmured. “I know that.”

“Well, I have to say, I admire your passion. I’ve never really met anyone like you, Emily Swinton. I think you’re going to be a good doctor, really. I just hope you don’t destroy yourself in the process.”

“You don’t need to worry,” Emily said. “I can handle myself.”

Their omelets arrived, and for a moment the conversation was derailed as they both began to eat.

“You were right about these,” Dominic said. “They’re fantastic.”

“I told you.”

“Consider me educated.”

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