Page 46 of Dr. Grump's Surprise Baby

She wanted to work in the emergency room. It was what she had always dreamed of.

But then… maybe there was a better option available to her.

She had liked working under Dr. Nash. She had appreciated the things he had to teach her. And maybe it would be a good idea for her to go on working in that department. It wasn’t something she had originally considered, working in pediatrics, but now that she thought about it, those were the doctors who had been so good to her and to Ruth. Maybe it had been a mistake to consider another specialty when this was the one that had inspired her to become a doctor in the first place.

Dominic was still speaking. “If you’re considering another specialty in this hospital, come forward and put your name on this sheet sometime today,” he said, holding it up. “Your records will be submitted for consideration to the attending physician inquestion. If you’re thinking of leaving the hospital, it’s up to you to make your own arrangements regarding what happens next.”

“How can we choose if we’re not sure whether we’re going to make the final cut or not?” someone spoke up.

“The safest bet is to assume you aren’t going to make it and plan accordingly,” Dominic said. “Put your name down for something. If you don’t, no doctor will plan to take you on, and you might find yourself without a home in the medical field as early as next week. That’s not something you want to risk.”

He was right. Emily swallowed. She had assumed she would be fine, but her conversation with Sara had shaken her confidence. Maybe she needed to consider the possibility that Dominic didn’t want to keep her around any more than she wanted to stay. Maybe she needed to make other arrangements.

Whether it was necessary or not, she realized, it was what she wanted. She didn’t want to be here, plagued by these thoughts, for a single day longer.

She was ready to move on.

She went up to the signup sheet as soon as Dominic had walked away from it and wrote her name down, followed by the wordPediatrics.

“Really?” Sara asked, coming up behind her. “I never figured you for pediatrics.”

“I liked working under Dr. Nash,” Emily said. “I would be happy finishing out my internship there, if I don’t make the cut to stay in the ER.”

“Well, I guess it doesn’t make much difference in your case,” Sara said.

“Doesn’t it? You were just speculating that I might be turned away from the ER.”

“Oh, you know I’m just getting my own anxieties out. The truth is that nobody thinks it’s going to happen to you. If there’s anyone in this group who’s safe, it’s you.”

“It’s Cassidy Cook.”

“All right, true. Nepotism wins every time. But after her, you’re the one I’ve got my money on,” Sara said. “You don’t have anything to worry about, Emily. You’re going to make it. Trust me.”

She grinned warmly, but Emily felt cold and sad.

Pediatrics would be good — but she had wanted to survive Dr. Berger’s infamously rigorous internship. And even though she probably wasn’t going to fail out, the idea that she was realizing she couldn’t hack it was difficult to accept.

It was her own fault. She had slept with her boss. Worse than that, she’d let her guard down and allowed herself to feel things for him that she hadn’t felt for any man in a very long time, and now she was stuck with the aftermath of those feelings for a man who would never return them.

In other words, she wasn’t going to make it through the program — not because she didn’t have the knowledge or the skills, but because she couldn’t handle it emotionally.

It wasn’t a reassuring realization. In many ways, it made things worse. She was going to wash out of the program for the most embarrassing reason possible. She was going to let herself down when she could have succeeded. It was just plain depressing to realize that.

It’s not all bad. I’m going to go on to a good career in another specialty. It’s not like I’m going to be leaving medicine behind altogether. And besides, I like Dr. Nash. It will be good to work for him.

She knew she needed to make her intentions known. It wasn’t likely that Dominic would cut her from the program. He took his morals too seriously, so he wasn’t likely to cut someone he knew was good. To make sure that she got the transfer she wanted, she was going to have to let the doctors in question know that she really wanted it.

She caught up with Dominic outside one of the patient rooms. He was studying a chart, and he didn’t look up at her as she approached. That was nothing new these days.

“Dr. Berger,” she said quietly. “Can I have a moment of your time?”

“I need to get in to see this patient,” he said.

“This won’t take very long. It’s a professional matter.”

That swayed him, as she’d known it would. “What is it?”

“I put my name down for a transfer to pediatrics.”

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