Page 45 of Dr. Grump's Surprise Baby

She had to give up on her desire to be with him, because it was never going to happen, and because the price he would make her pay for it was just too high.

Enough sneaking around. Enough pretending their relationship didn’t exist, sitting opposite each other at cafeteria tables and acting like it meant nothing when she knew it did — when theybothknew it did.

If a professional relationship was what he wanted from her, that was what he was going to get.

CHAPTER 18

EMILY

As it turned out, keeping things strictly professional was easier said than done.

Emily kept to the back of the group of interns during rounds for the next week. She told herself she was doing it so that she could avoid Dominic looking at her, but after just one day, it became painfully apparent that he wasn’t looking at her, and what she was really avoiding was having to acknowledge that she was being ignored. She wondered if he would have acknowledged her if she had tried to ask a question about a patient, but she didn’t dare. It would have been too painful to discover that the answer was no.

“What’s up with you?” Sara murmured one day. “You’ve been off your game lately.”

“I don’t know,” Emily said, knowing that she couldn’t tell the truth.

“Well, let me do that if you can’t handle it.” Sara took the saline bag that Emily had been trying to hook up to an IV pole. It was the most basic task available — a volunteer off the street couldhave handled it with a bit of instruction — and yet, Emily had been about to mess it up. She felt herself blushing.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sara said, hooking up the bag effortlessly. “Everyone has off days. But what’s going on with you? People have been covering for you, you know.”

“They have?”

“Well, probably just me,” Sara amended. “I don’t know if any of the others would do that. They know the intern cut is coming up at the end of the week. Everyone else thinks it’s a good thing that the top intern in our group is turning into a mess at the last minute. But I don’t want to see you go out like that. You’re my friend.”

“Do you think Dr. Berger is considering cutting me?”

“I think he’s considering cutting everyone,” Sara said. “I know you’ve been his favorite, Emily, but it’s Dr. Berger. I think he would cut his own mother from his program.”

Emily felt herself tense at the mention of Dominic’s mother. She had to remind herself that Sara didn’t know the story of what had happened to Mrs. Berger. She wasn’t being cruel. “Well, maybe so,” she said.

“It doesn’t bother you? The idea of being cut?”

“I just don’t think there’s anything I can do about it now,” Emily said. “I mean, either he’s impressed with me or he isn’t. I’m not going to be able to change his mind at this stage.”

“I don’t think that’s true. You know, everyone else is spending this last week doing absolutely everything they can to try to make one last good impression.”

“To me it just seems weird that they weren’t doing that all along,” Emily said. “Do they really think that one week is going to matter when he’s been watching us for three months? It would be a better use of everyone’s time to start figuring out what their backup plan is if they’re not able to stay here.”

“Do you have a backup plan?” Sara asked her.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Emily admitted. “I think it’s the responsible thing to do at this point. We have to be prepared.”

“I know, but… if there was anyone in our group who I would have said was a sure thing to make it through, it would have been you. Well, up until this week, anyway. But to be honest, I don’t think you’re going to do yourself so much damage in the space of a single week that it’s going to matter. It’s like you said. One week just isn’t going to be enough to make a difference.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Emily said. “But I’m thinking about it anyway.”

Sara didn’t know, of course, why it was so important for Emily to have a backup plan. Sara didn’t realize that she could hardly stand to look Dominic in the eyes these days. Sara didn’t know that Emily’s struggles to keep up with her work and to live up to her usual standard didn’t have anything to do with her dedication to her job or her ability to do it well. Instead, it was all about her feelings for Dominic, which she had allowed to get the better of her.

She was beginning to think that she simply couldn’t work in this environment anymore, as much as she hated to admit it.

“Interns, over here, please,” Dominic called from over by the nurses’ station.

The interns, who had been scattered about the place, grouped up around him.

“All right,” Dominic said. “As you know, this is the last week before I make my cuts. Some of you will be continuing in your internship with me here in the ER, and others… will need to find new arrangements.”

Emily noticed the other interns looking around uneasily at each other. She could imagine that she would have felt the same way a week ago, but as it was, she could barely bring herself to care. Maybe it would be for the best if she had to find another arrangement for herself. At least then she wouldn’t have to look at him every day. She wouldn’t have to be constantly aware of the fact that he refused to look at her.

---