Page 17 of Dr. Grump's Surprise Baby

“You think I should have handled it differently.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“You already said it. At least have the courage to stand behind your opinions.”

“All right,” Emily said. “You’re right, then. I do think you should have handled it differently. You think I shouldn’t have stayed in there and talked to the Wilsons, but let me tell you, if I wasDaniel’s primary doctor, I wouldstillbe in there with them. I would have stayed until they asked me to leave.”

“And ignore all your other patients?”

“We don’t have any other patients in need of urgent attention right now,” Emily said. “If we got a call that someone was being brought in, I would go. But until then, where do we have to be that’s more important than with that family?”

“You’re not going to make it as an ER doctor with that attitude,” Dr. Berger said.

“I guess we’ll find out,” Emily said quietly. “Look, you can wash me out if that’s what you feel like you need to do. But I’m not going to stop being the best doctor I know how to be just because I’m afraid of losing your approval.”

“You think you know more than I do about how to be a good doctor?”

“Not at all. I just think this is something I can’t let myself compromise on,” she said. “I got into medicine because I want to help people. And when I see people in need of help, I can’t just turn my back on them because you think it would be better to do that.”

“That’s very romantic of you,” Dr. Berger said. “The real world doesn’t work like that.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to cut me,” Emily said steadily. “Because this is the kind of doctor I’m going to be. This is more important to me than whether I work in an ER or not. I’ll work in any department, but I want to feel like I’m making people’s burdens easier while I do it.”

They faced one another. Emily had the strange feeling that he was paying more attention to her than he ever had before. It was as if he was truly seeing her for the first time.

Well, good. She wanted him to see her. She wanted him to understand this about her. If he didn’t like her because he thought she was a flake who showed up late to work because her priorities were out of order, that was a bad thing. But if he decided he didn’t like her because he couldn’t respect the reason she had gotten into the field of medicine in the first place… well, she wasn’t going to worry too much about that. She knew she was here for the right reasons.

Ruth would have approved of what I’m doing.

She thought of her sister. The family rarely talked about Ruth these days. Emily knew that it was simply too painful for her parents, that they couldn’t stand to bring it up. She was also sure they understood that Ruth’s story was what had compelled Emily to seek out a career in medicine — after all, what else could have driven her to it?

“I don’t want to cut you,” Dr. Berger told her.

“You don’t?”

“You’re good at the job. I’m trying to help you be better, not looking for an excuse to get rid of you.”

“I don’t think disconnecting emotionally from my patients and their families is going to make me any better,” Emily said. “Anyway, that’s not a compromise I’m willing to make. I came here to learn from you, and I’m ready to take your advice on almost anything… but not this. I think compassion for patients and their families is the most important part of practicing medicine.”

“You’re going to ruin your chances of being a great doctor,” he told her. “You’re never going to reach your potential.”

“Dr. Berger,” Emily murmured. “You must not have always felt that way. What about when you first got into medicine? Something must have made you want to do this job, and I know you’re not in it for the money. What brought you here, if it wasn’t passion for making your patients feel cared for?”

A shadow crossed Dr. Berger’s face.

Emily felt a pang. Maybe this had been too personal a question. She knew she wouldn’t have liked it very much if someone had askedherto describe the reasons she’d gotten into medicine. Hinting at it was one thing, but it was too painful to discuss when she wasn’t ready, when she hadn’t anticipated the question.

And perhaps that was the case for Dr. Berger as well, because he turned away from her. “Go and work on your paperwork,” he said.

“Don’t we have more rounds to do?”

“You’re finished for the day. I can’t trust you to follow my instructions, and I can’t expose my patients to an intern I can’t trust,” he said. “Dr. Swinton — Emily — the truth is that you have a lot of potential. I didn’t see it in you at first, but I do now. But if you’re determined to throw it away with both hands, I’m not sure there’s much I’m going to be able to do to help you. I’d like to see you become a success, but if you’re not willing to learn from me, I don’t think there’s anything I can do.” He pressed his lips together. “And stay out of my private life.”

So her questionhadgotten under his skin. She knew she had overstepped. She wanted to apologize to him, but he was already walking away.

“What was that about?” Sara asked, coming up alongside her.

“Oh, he’s mad at me,” Emily sighed. “Honestly, what else is new?”

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