Page 35 of Broken Bonds

“Ace, baby, I’m worried. What’s going on?” My mother’s worried voice reached me again, and I cringed, wishing I could sink into myself. Disappear. She would never call me that again. She wouldn’t forgive me for this. She wouldn’t love me anymore. I’d taken away her son.

The officer with kind eyes and warm hands took the phone from my limp hand, sensing my hesitation.

“Mrs. Danvers, this is Officer Grace. I’m with your son, Ace.” She paused, looking at me, her mouth closed, and her eyes locked on mine. She squeezed my cold hand again.“Yes,Ace is okay. He wasn’t arrested. Unfortunately, I will need you to come down to the station immediately. I have Ace and Jack here with me.” She waited a moment longer and then handed me the phone.

“You didn’t tell her?” I croaked. My throat hurt from screaming and crying. My heart ached with each passing second, with each ragged heartbeat, and now, I had to face my mother and Hank.

“We don’t deliver news of death over the phone, honey. We need to do it in person to assess the situation and control it. It’s going to be okay. She’ll understand. She will forgive you. She won’t stop loving you. A mother doesn’t love one child morethan the other.” She held my hand tightly for another hour until my mother stormed into the police station, Hank one step behind her.

She flew toward where I was sitting, “Where is Jack?!” she screamed, and every police officer in the room turned to look at the scene. I flinched, sinking back into my seat, wishing I could become one with it.

“Mrs. Danvers, please take a seat,” Officer Grace said calmly, and my mother narrowed her eyes and glared.

“It’s Peters, and I’d like it if you would start explaining what the hell is going on here. Where is my other son?” It was suddenly so quiet, a pin could be heard dropping. My mother didn’t take the seat beside me. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and continued to glare at Officer Grace.

“I have some bad news for you, Mr. and Mrs. Peters.” I saw Hank brace himself, looking at the officer like he knew what she was going to say, but my mother was still standing there, looking furious with me and Officer Grace. “Jack drowned this afternoon, and?—”

My mother’s piercing, agonized scream made time stop.

She fell to her knees before Hank could move her, and her loud cries filled the silent room. “YOU!” Hank looked at me and lunged, anger in his brown eyes. A male officer near us quickly sprung into action and restrained Hank, then another backed him up, and the two men in blue held Hank back from lashing out at me. Tears streaked down my cheeks.

My mother looked at me, black tears running down her pale face from her mascara, her eyes burning red with hatred.

“Mr. and Mrs. Peters, why don’t we continue this in private?” Officer Grace hadn’t let go of my shaking hand, and her voice remained calm and steady.

“Where is my son? Where is he?” my mother screamed, clutching at her chest. And I knew right then I’d destroyed her world. My mother did love another child more than the other.

She’d always loved Jack more than me.

“When we arrived on the scene, Jack was still breathing, but he had too much water in his lungs and passed at one-fifty in the ambulance.” Officer Grace’s grip on my hand tightened.

My mother shook her head. “Where is my son?” she asked again in a broken whisper that everyone heard due to the deafening silence of the police station. Not even a single phone rang.

“I’ll take you to him.” Officer Grace let go of my hand, stood, then walked around her desk to help my mother off the ground. She put an arm around her shoulder, offering her comfort. Hank was released from the two men while two more stepped in front of me to ensure that I was protected from my furious stepfather.

My mother stopped and stared at me, her eyes void of any emotion. I flinched at the cold look. “I fucking hate you.”

Only a week had passed, but it felt like it had been a year already. The house was deadly silent and dark. Mom hadn’t lefther room since we came home from the station, and Hank had been drinking from the moment he woke up until he passed out.

I was left to arrange the funeral.

I called every family member and notified the preschool and anyone who needed to know about Jack. I called my college and announced that I wouldn’t be joining the freshmen class due to a death in the family, but I promised to be there for the following semester, although I knew it was an empty promise.

It had been exactly seven days since Jack drowned in the pool outside, the pool that had been drained by Hank the day we came home. Jack’s toys were still littered all over the lounge, where he had been playing that day. The stuffed dog he carried around with him everywhere lay forgotten on the couch.

Today, we would lay him to rest. I had been up since the sun had risen, dressed in my best suit and waiting on the couch next to the forgotten stuffed dog. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it. To move it.

Hank sank down onto the couch next to me, a bottle of whiskey in his hand half an hour before we were supposed to leave.

We didn’t speak—there were no words left to say. I felt his hatred every moment of the day.

Mom emerged the minute we had to leave, hair in a bun, a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes, and walked straight past Hank and me and out the door.

“Don’t get in my car,” Hank said, standing up and tripping over my foot. He followed my mother out the door, a bottle of whiskey still clutched in his hand. I grabbed my keys off the counter and locked the house.

I drove behind Hank, who was way past the legal limit to drive, and the whole time, I prayed he wouldn’t kill my mother. That I wouldn’t have to plan another funeral and lay her to rest, too.

The ceremony was long and did little justice for my once-full-of-life little brother. Grief clung to the air as many family members cried for Jack. I stood beside Mom the whole time, hoping she might grab my hand, but she kept her arms crossed, avoiding both me and Hank. She hadn’t taken her sunglasses off, but I could still see the tears rolling down her cheeks and down her neck.

---