Page 96 of Broken Bonds

I had to move on, so I did… with Julian. He filled most of my time with Friday night football games, Saturday night dates, and Sunday brunch with my family and Amber. He had fully immersed himself in my life.

He sat beside me now, hand on my bouncing leg as we watched Ryan walk down the steps and sit with the rest of his graduating class. “You still have two more weeks with him, baby,” he whispered, his lips kissing the shell of my ear.

Leaning away from my crying friend, I rested my head on his strong shoulder, basking in his silent strength. “I know.” It didn’t make it easier though.

After the last names were called, we met up with Ryan in the courtyard outside the auditorium, where Amber rushed into his outstretched arms. Her tears turned into ugly sobs within seconds. “I’m so proud of you,” she hiccupped, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

“Thanks, spitfire.” His arms wrapped around her small back, holding her trembling body to his. Julian’s arm slid around my waist, pulling me to his body, and the feeling of belonging flooded my being.

“How about lunch, everyone?” Ryan asked, looking from our parents to Julian and me.

Despite the cheeriness of the holidays, a sadness lingered in our house with the constant reminder of Ryan’s departure looming over our heads. Amber slept over every night, not wanting to be alone. Amber didn’t sleep much, spending most nights staying up late talking with Ryan before dragging herself to bed in the early hours of the morning.

She flew home the day before Christmas Eve, and the house felt empty without her presence. Christmas day for my family involved matching sets of pajamas in the morning with a family selfie before eating a roast prepared by Mom and me. Julian came over for dinner and said his goodbyes to Ryan, since Julianwas set to leave for Colorado the next day until classes started mid-January and wouldn’t be back in time to see Ryan off.

Amber came back two days after Christmas, her red hair a mess on the top of her head when she walked into the house, a big pair of sunglasses covering her face. “I’m here, and I haven’t slept in three days. Don’t even start about my hair. Where’s Ryan?” Dropping her suitcase at the stairs, she turned to me, pushing the sunglasses to the top of her head, her eyebrow arched.

“In his room,” I told her. “Mom and Dad aren’t home, and I’m about to meet Julian for lunch, so you have the house to yourselves. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She laughed before running up the stairs.

“See ya later!” she hollered before I heard a door slam.

A few days later, nobody was smiling or laughing as Ryan came down the stairs, holding a duffle in one hand and Amber’s hand in the other. She was red-faced and teary-eyed, her knuckles white where she gripped his hand.

The drive to the airport was silent aside from Amber’s soft sobs, a gentle reminder of what we would be losing. Ryan held her hand and never let go. Even as he hugged us goodbye, her hand remained in his.

When his flight was called, he turned to Amber, cupping her freckled face with his large, tan hands. “It’s just one year, baby, and then, I’ll be back here, and you and I will be together for the rest of our lives.” He kissed her nose, and I broke, my own tears rushing down my face as he finally let go of her. She weakly walked over to me.

We held each other as he passed through the gate, both of our tears mixing together.

chapter thirty-four

CELINE

The first two weeks after my brother left were tough. Amber was a ghost of the girl I knew, and I watched her fade into the background just as I had a few months prior. I hated watching her experience the loneliness I had felt. She didn’t shower, eat, or go to class, and she cried until she fell asleep, staying holed up in her dorm in the dark and not letting anyone in.

After three days of failing to get her out of bed, I dragged her out kicking and screaming. Julian carried her from the apartment to my car and then into my house. I held her as she cried, and I even managed to convince her to start eating again. Her tears felt endless most nights, and I was relieved every time she finally passed out.

Mostly, I was relieved that she really loved my brother.

Ryan had expressed his concerns to me over and over about Amber and her feelings for him, that he feared she would stray after a few weeks apart. Clearly, he didn’t know his girlfriend very well.

Eventually, Amber ran out of tears to shed over the next few days, and between my mom and me, we got her back to class. She kept living with us since we were worried about her mental state, and we didn’t want her alone at any cost. And from whatwe’d heard about her roommate, she wouldn’t be much help to Amber.

Julian didn’t complain when I canceled our plans last minute for days on end, too worried to leave Amber alone with her thoughts. He just smiled and nodded in understanding before kissing me senselessly. He was a welcome distraction. Some days, I thought he was too good to be true. Granted, he still didn’t light me up inside, but he was nice enough.

Looking up from my phone where I’d been scrolling through Instagram, I saw Amber stagger into the room, her eyes bleary as she blindly reached for a coffee cup to put in the Keurig.

“Mornin’,” she mumbled around a yawn, stretching her nimble arms above her head.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” She turned to glare at me while the coffee machine brewed loudly behind her.

“Why are you a bitch so early in the morning?” The final sputtering from the Keurig took her attention away from me.

I rolled my eyes. “First of all, it isn’t morning, Amber. You slept through it.”

She made a grunting noise. “That was my intention. I hate Saturdays now.”

I frowned at her back. She used to spend her Saturdays with Ryan. But it wasn’t like they’d ended everything. They were still together. She still had contact with him. Why couldn’t she see how lucky she was?

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