Page 9 of Healing Bonds

His touch was soft, warm, and familiar. Embarrassment remained at the forefront of my mind. Afraid to speak, I buried my face into his chest. He must have thought I was so weak.

“I love you.” His chest vibrated with the three words I desperately needed to hear. Relief washed over me, but I just continued to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart until eventually, I fell asleep with my head on his chest with his fingers tangled in my thick locks, gently caressing my head. His soft voice was reassuring me that he was here and that I wasn’t alone.

Instead, I was completely lost in his love.

The bed dipped, and in the darkness of the room, I opened my puffy, blurry eyes, searching for Ryan, my hands patting the mattress for his firm body. His spot next to mine was empty but still warm. He hadn’t been gone long, but I didn’t want him to leave my side for a second.

I needed him with me.

“Ryan?” My voice was thick with sleep as I called out for him. After a beat of silence, I slowly sat up, my sore eyes adjustingto the dark room, only to find no trace of him. “Baby?” Still nothing. Standing up, an icy feeling wrapped around me.

Why didn’t he stay with me?

Stumbling over his bag that was left by the foot of the bed, I caught myself on my vanity and finally saw a bright light coming from underneath the bedroom door.

I braced myself, trying to prepare my eyes for the harsh light when I swung the door open. I spotted him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, watching our little coffee machine brew a cup of coffee. Slinking up behind him, I wrapped my arms around his shirtless torso, sinking into his warmth. “Make me a cup, too,” I whispered into his tattooed shoulder, lightly kissing the giant eagle he got when he came home from his very first deployment.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” His hot and sweaty hands settled on mine, and with a slight shake of his head, his fingers curled around my wrists.

“I just want to be with you.”

Silence passed between us long enough for the coffee to finish. I just held him, my cheek pressed to his back, inhaling the scent that was all him.

“What happened earlier?” Shaking my head against his back, I didn’t know what to say because I was just as confused as him. That had never happened to me before.

“I couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard I tried, my chest was so sore.” He turned, looking down at me, his blue eyes shining with concern.

“Did I do something to upset you tonight?” he asked me, a frown pulling at his lips.

I immediately shook my head. “No,” I assured him. “I just lost control of my emotions for a few minutes.” I drew in a deep breath. “I’m so sorry for ruining our night.” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

“You didn’t ruin our night, spitfire. Don’t ever apologize to me for… losing control. You don’t need to be perfect in front of me. I don’t ever want you to keep anything from me.”

“My bottle just broke, and everything just poured out,” I told him quietly, my voice cracking. His body was firm against mine. I knew he understood.

“I’ll put it back together, baby. Don’t you worry.” I couldn’t resist his full lips anymore when he shot me a little smile. Leaning up on my tiptoes, I kissed the corner of his mouth near his dimple.

“I love you, Ryan Wilson.”

“I love you, too, my little spitfire.” Both of his hands cradled my head, and I shivered at the predatory gleam in his eyes—like he wanted todevourme. I couldn’t wait. Knowing that this gorgeous man still wanted me after I fell apart in front of him and cried like a little girl warmed my damn soul. Yet, he was still looking at me like a woman, the same way he always had.

And I prayed that would never change because I couldn’t lose him. I would lose myself in the process. It would, quite literally, kill me.

“Please kiss me,” I begged him. “I need you.”

“I’m all yours.” His lips met mine, and with a soft, tentative swipe of my tongue, he parted his lips and owned my body. His teeth nibbled at my bottom lip, eliciting a moan from my throat as his tongue chased away the sting. When the lack of oxygen registered in my mind, I turned my head away for a breath, but his mouth never stopped. He trailed his lips down my jaw and to my neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses all the way to my collarbone before he trailed kisses back up to my ear, his mouth wrapping around my earlobe. A moan slid from my lips, and a shiver danced down my spine.

“Ryan,” I moaned, my hands clutching his short hair as I tugged him closer to me, warmth pooling low in my belly. Asudden, shrill beep made us jump apart as the kettle alerted us it was finished. His rich laughter filled the small kitchen, the warm sound bouncing off the walls.

“I forgot about that,” he mumbled, and his arms reached for me instantly.

“Why were you awake anyway?” I asked, sinking back into his embrace.

He seemed uncomfortable with the question, his eyes darting around the room as if he was searching for an answer before fixing his gaze back on me. I didn’t like how evasive he was being.

“I couldn’t sleep. My mind is too busy, and I’m not used to the time difference.” He shrugged. I frowned, concerned. He wasn’t telling me the truth. “It’s only midday where I was stationed.” I knew he was lying, but I didn’t want to push him. He always told me what’s bothering him when he was ready to.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do another tour?” I buried my face against his shirtless chest. I didn’t want to see his face as I mumbled the stupid question against his skin, hating myself for asking, but I had to know.

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