Page 14 of Healing Bonds

“Have you told everyone else?” Her voice was soft. A squeak of a door echoed through the phone, and I heard birds chirping in the background. The beep of an unlocked car filled the silence as I waited for her to get in the car.

“I told you first, you know, my twin.”

“You sure you want me there with you for a few weeks?” The rumble of her engine started, and then, I heard the soft ticking of an indicator.

I sighed. “You’re my twin. I’ll nevernotwant you around,” I assured her. Even if she was being a grade-A bitch about this. But I was hoping I could get her to come around.

“I’ll book my ticket after you tell Mom and Dad. Good luck with that. They’re still pissed you didn’t call for Christmas.” I cringed. Fuck. I hated this shit.

I loved my family, but it was hard to please all of them. And they’d been horrible to me about Ryan. Why did they assume I’d call for Christmas after the way they spoke about him and our relationship?

“They didn’t call me either,” I retorted, and my sister snorted. “Did they mention that when they were bitching about me?”

“Amber, what’s wrong with you?!” Celine shouted, turning to look from the road to me.

“I’m not getting in the middle of that shit show,” Ali said, and I released a tired sigh. “Let me know when you tell them, and I’ll be there the next day. Can I bring the girls?”

“Yes, but don’t tell them yet.”

“Good luck, sis. Call me later.” And just like that, Alissa hung up, leaving me and Celine in silence.

I had to face my parents nowandmy two little sisters. The option to hide was no longer a choice. Celine was drumming her fingers against the steering wheel, switching her gaze between me and the red light ahead of us. I knew she’d been itching to saysomething, but she refrained, and when the light turned green, she accelerated.

Reaching for her overhead display, I connected my phone to the Bluetooth and played some music, hoping to drown out the silence. I was successful when the rest of the drive was spent listening to a random Spotify playlist. My mind was so jumbled, I couldn’t recall any of the songs that’d played by the time we reached my apartment complex.

In the parking garage of my apartment building, Celine parked and turned the car off. I knew this wasn’t part of our planned day. Her silence was no longer an option, and I groaned before she could even open her mouth.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Cece.” She looked at me, her blue eyes flashing with hurt, mouth open, ready to tell me her opinion, but then, she hesitated.

“Fine,” she snipped. I closed my eyes, so exhausted. “I’ll see you tomorrow at work.” She turned the car on and waited for me to leave.

“Celine, come on.” She wouldn’t even look at me. Her fingers were tight around the steering wheel.

“I’m just trying to be your friend, andyouare shutting me and everyone else out,” she retorted.

“That’s not true!” I exclaimed. “It’s just family shit. It doesn’t concern you.” I regretted the words as soon as I said them because the woman sitting beside me wasn’t just my best friend—she was my sister. Pain flashed across her face at my words before the rage settled in once again.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Amber, because youaremy family. You’ve shut your real family out, quit your other job, shut down in front of Ryan, and now, you’re trying to kick me out of your life, too. But I won’t let you. You’ll have to try a lot harder than that to get rid of me.”

“I can’t do this with you,” I tiredly responded. My voice sounded as tired as I felt. “You wouldn’t understand with your perfect fucking life,” I angrily bit back at her. Opening the car door, I scrambled to grab my things and quickly slammed the door shut, but Celine was just as fast, and she met me around the back of the car.

“Excuse me?”

I jabbed a finger into her chest, rage unlike anything I’d ever felt before filling every fiber of my being. “You heard me! You have the husband home every fucking night, a big house, parents who don’t expect anything from you, a fancy new car whenever you want one.” I threw my hands up in the air. “And me,” I turned my finger and jabbed it in my chest so hard that it hurt, “I cry myself to sleep every night. I live in a tiny apartment where the walls are paper-thin, and I had to listen to the neighbors having sex almost every night while I slept alone. My car is a few miles away from giving out, and my parents… you’ve never met them. You couldneverunderstand the pressure they put on me to beperfect.” My heart was racing, my breaths coming out uneven pants, and the same fear as last night took hold of my body.

She was stunned, her blue eyes wide and glassy with tears. She angrily wiped at a stray tear before crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re wrong,” she whispered, glancing at one of the neighbors darting past us, grocery bags in hand. “My husband and I almost got a divorce a year after getting married, in case you forgot. My big house is from both Ace and me working our asses off to have something for our family. My parents love you like their own daughter, and I thought after the last six years, you would have noticed that you’re invited to everything—family dinners, holidays, literallyeverything!” she finally yelled. “Iwanted to give you a company car, butyourefused!” Her scream echoed in the garage, and I winced.

“Why don’t we take this inside?” I clutched my chest, my heart squeezed and beating too fast. Why was breathing so fucking hard?It’s happening again,was all I could think.

“No, you started it here, and we’re going to finish it right fucking here.” Her whole body was shaking with rage, but I couldn’t move. My head was spinning. The loud thumping of my heart was ringing in my ears, and my thoughts were jumbled.

“Cece, inside please?” I begged in a rasp through a wheeze as I tried to control my sudden, ragged breaths. I noticed a slight change in her as she observed me, but it was too late. My legs buckled, and I crumbled to the ground in a mess of tears.

“Shit, Amber, I’m sorry! Tell me how to fix this!” Her shouting bounced off the walls and pierced my ears as her hands latched onto my arms, her nails biting into my exposed skin.

I wished I knew what to tell her. I wished I knew what I was going through, what was happening to me, but before I could answer her, black dots swarmed my vision, and all I knew was that my head felt too heavy…

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