Page 11 of Healing Bonds

What really helped us grow as a couple were the hours that I’d spent devouring any book on marriage that I could read, and the number one rule that saved our marriage was never going to bed until the argument was settled.

Now, four years since our summer wedding, we had never been happier, completely lost in each other’s love. We were only missing two things to complete our perfect life together.

The first was my brother, Ryan, who’d been gone for six months and still had another six more until his final deployment was over. The second thing Ace and I were missing was a child. Ace had been hinting for the last few months that we should find a reason to fill the two extra bedrooms in our double-story home.

I naturally suggested Amber, since the girl seemed to be getting herself into a rut lately. Quitting her job and spending all her time holed up in her small apartment in the dark wasn’t healthy, and regardless of Ace being against it, we were both worried about her. He just insisted that we needed our own space to be a couple without someone always listening, but I knew the real reason was someone getting in the way of us having sex anywhere in the house without worrying about other people.

The man couldn’t handle being confined to rules. He wanted to make his own, and his number one rule was sex wherever and whenever the desire hit. I never objected. Who was I to deny my husband when his only desire was to please me?

Through all of the highs and lows of the last five years together, Ace had been a constant in my life, just as I was in his. Every day, I thanked God for our love. Without Ace, I would be lost because he was my rock, always keeping me from drowning.

We experienced our first low when his mother passed away a few months after our wedding. The woman was so riddled withsickness that we all felt immense relief when we first heard the news. We just wanted her to finally be at peace.

Once we reached the hospital where she’d been for the last three months, my strong, unyielding man broke at the sight of the empty bed and his distraught grandmother weeping in the chair she’d inhabited for most of Ace’s mother’s stay in the hospital.

I was immediately thrown back into the weeks after his motorcycle accident, and the icy fear that shot through my spine kept me paralyzed by the entrance of the room at the reminder of what I could have lost. Ace cried over the empty bed, holding his gran’s hand, and eventually mine when I found the courage to stand beside him.

Since that day, he hadn’t shed another tear, and I always wondered if I’d ever see that side of him again—the broken boy who never truly healed from losing his little brother and being abandoned by his family. The boy I’d fallen in love with, who had grown into a strong man ready to protect me at all costs.

His grandmother died a few months later, but the resilient man I’d fallen in love with didn’t cry when we found her. She had been staying in our guestroom but hardly left the bed, really only enough to eat and watch a movie with us at night. Otherwise, she remained in her pajamas all day, reading books. Sometimes, I sat with her, but we never spoke. She was a silent woman, who preferred to stay lost in her thoughts.

For months, we watched her wither away, and in the end, she began to refuse food. Ace and I knew the day was coming that she would leave us, but we never thought it would be so soon. For a long time, Ace was a shell of the man I knew, but he never shed a tear.

Our house had a darkness in it that quickly consumed us. All we did for months was argue. We couldn’t agree on anything—what to have for dinner, what color to paint our bedroom,what car to get. Nothing made sense anymore. And I felt so lost without him.

The topic of divorce was thrown around a lot. Many nights, we went to bed with our backs turned to each other, our hearts screaming in confusion. Because at the end of the day, we knew we loved each other, and I fell in love with Ace even more with every passing minute despite us not being able to get along.

Amber was the reason we finally came to terms with our problems.

She walked into our house one day like she owned it, a big, fat, shit-eating grin on her freckled face. “Listen here, bitch.” She pointed at me as I sunk onto the couch, eyes darting between her and Ace, who stood in the kitchen making popcorn. “And you, Asshole,” she said, pointing her finger at Ace. “You two need to figure your shit out because this whole divorce talk is absolutely fucking ridiculous. I didn’t bend over backward to give you two the perfect wedding literally a fucking year ago for nothing. So, go have angry sex and get out all your anger and frustration because you two are driving us all bat-shit bananas.”

She plopped down on the couch next to me and reached for the remote to the TV. “Ames, what the hell?” I smacked the remote from her hand and glared at her.

“You’re lucky you have your man, so put aside your differences,” she snapped at me, and I instantly felt horrible. “Have some good sex and move the fuck on because at least you can.”

“I think you’re the one having relationship problems—not us.” Ace sat beside me, munching noisily on the popcorn. I bit back a scowl. I hated it when he chewed food loudly.

“Says the asshole who won’t let his wife paint her fucking house gray.” I could see through her anger now, and I knew she was hurting because of Ryan, but nonetheless, I wanted to see this shitshow play out.

“You forgot something. It’sourhouse, notjusthers, fireball.” He emphasized ‘our’, pointing between him and me, but I knew how much Amber hated the nickname ‘fireball’ that Ace gave her when Ryan broke up with her a few years ago and she ended up lashing out at everyone for months.

“Don’t call me that!” she snapped at him.

“Ace!” I exclaimed. He sighed, looking between us in defeat.

“Alright, fine, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that again, but don’t walk intomyhouse telling me what to do,” he told Amber.

“What happened toourhouse?” I demanded. Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him.

“Fuck, baby, you know what I mean!” He threw his arms in the air.

“No, Ace, I don’t. Is it yours or ours, huh? You think just because you pay the bills that it’s not mine, too?” Standing up, I glared at him while I tapped my foot on the carpet. I was so sick of him doing this kind of shit. He would always say one thing, and then the next second, he would change it all up and say something completely different.

It was confusing as hell, and sometimes, the shit he said actually hurt.

Amber stood, her green eyes darting between us. “I think I’ll just let myself out.”

“Sit your ass down,” I ordered. “We need to talk once I deal with him.” She slowly sank back down onto the couch, eyes wide with alarm.

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