Page 23 of Always My Comfort

Jaxon was there, crouching in front of me, his eyes wide and alert with worry for me. A complete stranger that was pregnant with his child. God, if he knew, he’d run. Surely, he’d run far away.

“Logan, it’s goin’ to be okay, sweetheart.” His warm hand latched onto my wrist, rubbing a soft circle into my boiling skin. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but it will be okay.”

I had to tell him.

He was so kind.

I couldn’t keep crying and distracting him with silly things.

I had to stop flirting.

He didn’t ask any questions. He stayed at my side, surveilling the surrounding area every few minutes, his body hyperaware as I cried like a pathetic child.

I couldn’t make the tears stop, and the uselessness I felt made them fall faster. I hated having no control.

It triggered old memories, moments in my life when I hit rock bottom and had to pull myself out of the darkness alone.

If I could do it when my dad died, and again when mom was taken from me by cancer, surely, I could pull my shit together now.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, wiping the tears from my cheeks, hoping some of my makeup remained intact. I wasn’t ready for him to see me without it. I wasn’t ready to lose another piece of my armor.

“It’s okay. Sometimes, life just kicks us down.” He was so fucking sweet, it made my heart ache. “Are you ready to walk back to my place?”

I nodded, and he helped me stand. We walked back down the trail in silence. The only sound was the loud chirp of crickets and frogs surrounding us. It gave me time to rein in my emotions, to take back control.

At the door of his lobby, he paused, eyes flickering between me and the door. “You don’t want me to come back up?” I could see the hesitation in his dark eyes, from his furrowed brows to his frown.

“It’s not that. I just want to know what your expectations are. If you want to go back up there and repeat the other night, I can’t. I’m not that guy.” He crossed his arms over his chest, muscles rippling with the movement.

He was that guy a few months ago. I had the proof growing in my stomach right now, but I heard the sincerity in his tone, so I kept my lips shut.

“But if you came here for another reason,” he hesitated, grimacing, “to try and be the girl to tame me or some shit, I’m not that guy either. I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m not ready to settle down. I want to focus on baseball. I want to give my all to this season. I can’t do that if I have a girlfriend.”

I am officially screwed.

He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want our baby. I’m alone. I’m going to be a single parent. I can’t do this alone. I can’t be a mother. I’m not ready. I don’t want this.

My mind is exploding with intrusive thoughts as we stand there at the door of his lobby, the bright, white lights shining down on us.

What should I do? How was I supposed to salvage this? What would my mom do? What would Scarlett do?

“I wanted a friend,” I stuttered and wanted to shoot myself for saying something so pathetically foolish.

“I don’t follow.” His posture relaxed. He was no longer on high alert, trying to ward off someone trying to look for a relationship.

“I just got out of a bad relationship. What makes you think I want to dive into another—and with you?” He took a step back, not expecting my comment. Hell, neither was I.

“What’s wrong with me?” He jabbed a finger into his chest, all of a sudden defensive.

“Nothing, but I’m not interested in any more baseball players.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Why me, then, sweetheart? I’m sure you’ve got some friends.”

Why him, Logan? What did you just get yourself into? Tell him the truth.

“Because you need me.” A cocky grin took over his beautiful lips, and I fought every bit of desire that rose inside of me.

“And why do I need you?”

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