Page 22 of Always My Comfort

I wanted to know more about her.

“I’m sorry for freaking out. You must really think I’m crazy now, huh?” She had stopped at the only water fountain in the park and was bending over for a long drink. When she faced me again, I watched a single droplet of water fall from her pink lips and roll down her chin.

Without thinking, I brushed it away, my thumb making contact with her soft skin. Her hot breath brushed against my hand as she sighed. And just like that, I was stuck back in that moment.

Back on the night we kissed.

And in this moment, I wanted to taste her again. I needed her.

I wanted to be reminded of how good she tasted. I needed to hear her moan my name.

CHAPTER9

Logan

I really liked lists.

They helped keep my anxiety under control. Mom was the one who taught me to write everything down when I was overwhelmed and everything was spiraling out of my control.

“A list you can control. Once you’ve done the task, you can check it off and move to the next one,” she had told me, and I held onto that advice.

I made lists in high school of my homework every night. I made a list of all the colleges I wanted to apply to. I made a list of where I wanted to work.

But most importantly, I made a list of how I wanted my life to go. Ineededto have some control after Mom died.

Find love.

Get married.

Buy a house, preferably on the water, with lots of land for all the kids and dogs I want.

Rescue a dog.

Fall pregnant with the man of my dreams.

Raise a beautiful family.

The list was on a crumpled piece of paper in my wallet, the first one I hadn’t been able to achieve, and it burned every time I thought about it.

I made a list for tonight, and as I reached for it in my jeans pocket, I wondered what Jaxon would think. We’d been silently walking this trail for the last thirty minutes while I tried and failed to get my thoughts in order.

Pulling out the piece of paper Scarlett helped me write, I squinted through the darkness at the bright red letters.

Get in car.Check.

Get past lobby security if there is any.Check.

Knock on his door.Check.

Tell Jaxon about our baby.

Instead of telling him the real reason I’d found him, I chickened out, ate his pizza, flirted like my life depended on it, and then nearly had an anxiety attack in his kitchen.Way to fucking go, Logan.

Jaxon easily kept my pace as my mind ran rampant with intrusive thoughts that I wished more than anything would shut the hell up.

I wished again for the hundredth time since I found out about this baby that my mom was here. She would know what to do; she always did. Wasn’t that the job of a mom? Would I be like her? Would I just know what to do with this baby?

Panic clawed at my throat, and I fought with every breath I had to not let the sob bubble out, but it was no use. My knees buckled, and I hit the dirt, my body failing me.

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