Page 136 of Tell Me It’s Right

“You think he’s holding me back,” I whisper.

The smile she gives me is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. “I do. If you want to come back here, Gracie, by all means, you know how much I would love to have you close. But I want to make sure you’re making that decision for you. And that’s an impossible choice to make if you don’t know what other options are out there—if you’re not in a place to give those other optionsa fair shot. I want you to be the happiest you can be, my love. I don’t want you to look back on this ten years from now and wish you’d seen it through.”

I scrunch my nose against the burning sensation as tears threaten to boil over again. I try to picture what she’s saying. But Liam is one of the few things in my life that feelsright. How could cutting out the one thing that’s making me happy help?

“I love him,” I choke out.

She grasps both of my hands in hers. “I know you do. But loving him is not a replacement for loving your life. You’re still gonna have to work that one out on your own. He makes you happy. Anyone can see that. But he can’t be the only thing that does.”

Chapter Forty-Eight

GRACIE

I don’t have a plan for what to say when I show up at Liam’s door. Don’t have any plan at all, really.

“Gracie? I—what are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming to town—” Liam stops short when he opens the door and his gaze falls on my face. Wordlessly, he steps aside so I can pass.

“I’m sorry if this is a bad time. I know you’ve had a lot going on.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. Here, sit down.”

I take the kitchen chair he pulls out, a wave of déjà vu rolling over me from the conversation I had an hour ago.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

He sighs as he takes the seat across from me. “Casey’s been getting into some trouble.”

“Casey?” Granted, I don’t know the kid well, but he didn’t seem like the troublemaking type.

Liam pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. And my dad has no patience for it, as you can imagine, and Christine is at her wit’s end with my dad. Anyway. What’s going on with you? Is everything okay?”

I thought I’d cried myself out at my mom’s, that it wouldn’t be physically possible for me to do it anymore, and yet…

Liam’s eyes widen, and he pulls his chair around so he’s beside me.

“I think I made a mistake with this job,” I whisper. “I feel like I’m playing dress up in someone else’s life. And I thought at first it was just new and I needed to give it time for it to start to feel like home. And I have. I’ve tried. But it doesn’t feel right… But if it’s not this, then I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do. I went to talk to my mom today.”

“Okay.” He rubs his thumb over my knee. “What did she say?”

I throw my hands up. “That I’m not giving it a fair chance. That I went into this with one foot already out the door because of…”

“Because of what?”

My shoulders slump. “Because of you.”

He leans back in his chair, his eyes searching my face. “Did you… Did you come here to break up with me?”

“No!” The tears break free onto my cheeks. “I mean, I don’t—I don’t know. I don’t want to. But what if she’s right?”

He stares at me for a long moment, and the look on his face gives nothing away. I have no idea what he’s thinking.

“You said the city doesn’t feel right, so then tell me what does.”

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

“Come on. You have things that feel right. No matter how small.”

I swipe the tears from my face with the back of my hand and flick my wrist. “The water. Being close to the water. The ocean, I miss it.”

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