Page 13 of Two to Tango

That’s too soon. I would have to coordinate with my clients, figure out my schedule and the timing of it.

Twelve weeks of the fundamentals of tango, it reads.Each week will focus on a different technique. We will work together to give you confidence, make you a strong tango dancer, and most of all, have fun while doing it.

That’s a tall order.

But what if I put aside some of the logical thinking for a minute? Clearly nothing is logical if I’m even entertaining doing this. Maybe I like the idea of being a strong tango dancer or gaining confidence or, shockingly, having fun. I don’t even know what that word means anymore.

I hover above theSign up now!button, my heart racing as I consider doing it. What if my family found out? My fingers twitch just a little. Should I even be spending money on something so frivolous? My hand moves off the mouse. Maybethe shoes weren’t meant to be worn, just admired from a distance.

“I can’t do this right now,” I whisper, just in case anybody else can see what I’m trying to do on my computer. In my own office. Behind a locked door. I’m getting paranoid.

A quick knock breaks me out of my stupor. I rapidly minimize the screen.

“Come in,” I say, trying to sound as calm as I can.

Jim pokes his head in, paperwork in hand. “Hey Julie, could you stay late on Thursday?” he asks, not really waiting for an answer. “Barbara said you didn’t have anything else going on and you’d say yes.”

Of course, she did.

“I can’t,” I blurt out.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I forgot I have … something important that came up.” I must look pale as a ghost.

“Oh.” He’s surprised. “Okay, not a problem. I’ll get Larissa on it.” He walks away, leaving the door ajar behind him.

I look back at my computer, pulling up the website I couldn’t let myself exit out of.

Maybe the shoesweremeant to be worn. What if they are a sign to take command of my life? What if I want to do something for myself for once? Something I can love, something that can bring back some zest for life. Something that can help me reclaim my time. No emails, no messages, no phone calls from Barbara.

No assumptions that I havenothing else going on.

What if I took one step outside of my comfort zone? Just one step.

Would it change everything?

Fire at my fingertips, I click on theSign up now!button and quickly fill out the form. Once I submit it, I step back and try notto think about the most impulsive thing I’ve done in about ten years. You’d think I just decided to rob a bank.

Maybe abuela wanted me to do this. Maybe she didn’t. But maybe the more important part is that I want to.I think.

Maybe I want to try.

Larissa peeks her head in. “Hot date?” she says with a smirk.

I jump, startled from her accusation. “No, no. Just … a family thing.”

“Oh.” Her face falls. “That’s no fun.”

I feel guilty for lying, giving her an answer that could easily dismiss her. But Larissa is kind and thoughtful, and she tries. And she indirectly put this idea in my head, so I can’t help but change my answer and tell her instead, “I’m trying something new.”

Her face lights up. “As you should,” she responds supportively.

“I’ll let you know how it goes.” I aim for friendly.

“Can’t wait!”

“Sorry Jim threw more work your way.”

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