Page 136 of Take It Offline

Emma’s eyes are misty, but I can’t stop. I won’t let her get a word in, not yet, because for fuck’s sake, I’ve only got one shot at this, and I’m shit at words and feelings. If she gives me an out, I’m worried my dumb ass might actually take it, because this is the first time I’ve had something truly worth not fucking up, and technically I’m already zero for two.

“Wherever you go, I’m going with you. I’ll be right there—at your back, by your side, on my knees, whatever it takes. There’s nowhere you can go that I won’t want to follow.”

I don’t deserve Emma, not yet, but I can’t be without her, and I’ll do anything—everything—to make this work.

“Say something,” I plead. “Please. Do you need me to beg? I’ll fucking do it. Just please, tell me what you need.”

“Okay,” she says, staring me down. “Kneel.”

I blink. “Now?” These are three-hundred-dollar pants.

Her brow arches. “Were you lying to me?”

My heart lurches at her stern tone. “No.”

“Then show me. I want you on your knees, Charlie. Don’t you want to give me what I want?”

Always.

Holding her gaze, I step forward. I need to be closer. I need to breathe her in. And just before we touch, I kneel.

“Better?”

My heart is beating so hard, I’m shocked there isn’t an echo. The floor is ice cold, and my knees are already protesting, but I’m smiling.

And when she cups my cheek, I remember how to breathe. I cover her hand with mine.

Truth is, I’m cold-blooded. I’ve been allergic to feelings for as long as I’ve had them. Getting attached is dangerous for someone who never stays in one place very long. Given the choice, I’d keep my shit locked up so tight the government has it on a watch list. But I never had a choice with Emma.

The whole world is burning, but I am hers until every star turns cold. There’s no separating her from me. Me from her.

“Doubt everything else. Hell, question whether the sky is blue for all I care. But there are two things I won’t fucking stand for.” I count them off. “That you ever doubt how incredible you are, and that you ever have reason to question exactly how far I’ll go to prove that to you.”

I’ll follow her to the ends of the earth. Beyond. Past the mortal coil to whatever exists on the other side. I don’t much care how she wants me, as long as it means being by her side.

Heaven. Hell. I’ll face it all.

“I want you,” I say, pressing her hand more firmly against my cheek. “How ever I can get you. Do you even know what you do to me? All you need to do is walk into a room, and my day is better. It kind of fucks me up when you aren’t around. I want everything, Emma. Every smile, every scowl, every debate.” The smile that creeps over my face does so unbidden. “All of you. I’d rather cut my own heart out of my chest than have you look at me like I mean nothing to you. You don’t even have to do anything. Just be near me, and I’m fucking good. Whatever you want to do, we can make it happen. Anything you want, I want it too. As long as I’m the only one you want. I’m selfish, and I’ve been a coward, but it’s the truth.”

“That’s a lot to ask for,” she finally says, her voice so soft I want to wrap her up and protect her from the world. “What makes you think you’ve earned it? How do I know you won’t get scared again?”

“I can’t say I won’t ever be scared, but I’m in love with you. Probably have been since the moment you walked into that meeting room. Not being able to admit that to you has killed me. But I can’t lose you again. I won’t.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I shouldn’t have walked away. I should have stayed and said this earlier. God knows I wanted to. I was terrified. The way you look at me, like I’m everything I could want to be, everything you deserve…” I take a deep breath, ignoring the cold bite of the floor, the ache of my knees, the shadow of Logan in the background. All that exists is her.

“You have the power to hurt me, destroy me so thoroughly there’s nothing recognizable left, nothing to put together again, just enough to carry on as a shell of who I used to be. And thething is? I’ll let you. If loving you means the possibility of losing you, of letting you lay waste to everything I am, then it’s already too late, because I love you so much there’s no room for anything else.”

The sadness in her eyes just about breaks my heart.

Emma brings her other hand up to cup my face. “Somewhere, someone convinced you that you’re not worthy of love. But I can tell you right now that’s a lie. You know how I know? Because you love so beautifully, so completely, that you don’t even see it. It’s in everything you do, in the way you take care of people. But now it’s time for you to let me take care of you. Let yourself be loved, Charlie, please.”

“I want you to know, I’m sor?—”

She cuts me off, covering my mouth and invading my space. Whatever she wants, she can have, forever, because she’s touching me, and maybe it means I haven’t completely fucked this up.

“Stand up.”

I don’t dare to look away as I pick myself up off the floor. As soon as I’m standing, she reels me in by my tie.

CHAPTER 47

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