Page 135 of Take It Offline

CHAPTER 46

LAYING IT ALL AT YOUR FEET

CHARLIE

For me, dreams have never been happy. When I fall asleep, I’m getting turned down, dumped, fired, or worse. I’ve watched Reese fall down a flight of stairs so many times I have to stand in front of her on an escalator.

Where other people get their wildest wishes granted, I’m waiting in lines or trying to jump high enough to get off the ground.

Fact is, my subconscious knows the truth. If I’m not careful, I’ll fuck up a good thing.

I already have.

But Emma is right. It’s time I stopped getting in the way of my future.

I refuse to let this good thing get away from me.

Ivy looks ready to throw me over the balcony when I arrive, and when she tells me Emma went off with Logan, it almost destroys me.

But I have to believe it isn’t too late.

By the time I get to the wine cellar, I’m taking the stairs two at a time. Just as I make it to the landing, Logan steps in close to Emma and says, “I care for you. I always have.”

My fist aches to connect with his face, becausefuck that guy,but I ignore it. Emma looks more beautiful than I remember, or maybe it’s that I’ve been so sick without her that just being in the same room with her is bringing me back to life.

“I have something for you,” I say, pulling the delicate gold watch from my pocket.

Her eyes go wide with recognition and surprise. “Charlie,” she says, like it’s punched out of her. “What? How did you…?”

Gently, I slide it back onto her wrist. “I called Harvey. Bought it back. Made a deal to cover a portion of what’s owed in exchange for it.”

Emma opens her mouth to protest, but I shake my head.

“Then your dad found out, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so we’re all squared up now.”

I close the clasp and steal an extra moment, just to hold her hand, before I step back.

Emma’s owed an apology, and I’m going to make it count.

“You’re the best thing that’s happened in this whole shitty year.” I pull in a deep breath and run a hand through my hair. “I’m trying, Emma. I’ll do everything I can to not fuck this up again. You’re too good for me, but I’m a selfish asshole who doesn’t want to lose you.”

I only have one heart. Fuck knows what’s even pumping blood through my body right now because I handed that part of myself over to her the minute she kissed me.

“I’ve been running on empty my whole life. All I ever cared about was my sister and making sure we had enough. And when you walked into my life, I spent every second afraid of crashing, because that’s what I do.”

There are so many things I need to tell her, all of them clawing to get out of me. If I could simply crack my ribs open, let each confession pour out into the open, she could see howmarked I am by her. There isn’t a single part of me that doesn’t love her.

That is equally afraid of losing her.

“I know we started off wrong, and that’s on me. I should have said it when you asked me to help you, but I was too busy being selfish. I wish I’d been strong enough to tell you how I felt any of the million times I had the chance to.”

Emma crosses her arms over her chest, nods. Uses the silence like I taught her too.

Swallowing, I continue. “Thinking of you with anyone else makes me want to tear this house down, brick by brick. If you don’t want anything to do with me, I understand, but I’m not leaving until I tell you what I want.”

My mouth is dry. I don’t care.

“I want Reese to live in a big house with fur babies and a life-sized Darth Vader and Mae, who reminds her every day how amazing she is. I want my parents to live peaceful lives and not go before I’m ready to say goodbye to them. I want people to stop destroying each other over money or hatred. I want to stop looking for the exit every time something good happens. I want to spend every second of the rest of my life finding new ways to make you happy, because nothing has ever felt so permanent as the way I love you.”

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