Page 126 of Take It Offline

I’ve always hated the limbo ofnot knowing. If bad news is coming, I want that Band-Aid ripped right off. No waiting. No hesitation.

I twist to face her, my arm slipping from her shoulders. Immediately, I want to move back, but touching her will onlymake this more difficult. Already, my heart is packing its bags. Fortifying the doors and windows.

“What’s going on with you and him?” I have to know. Need to.

Her lips tug down in a confused frown. “Nothing is going on. I thought you knew that. He asked me out, and I told him?—”

“You’d think about it.” I remember.

Her frown melts into something so soft and fond it actually makes me ache. “Yes. I did think about it. And I don’t want to be with him.”

“Does he know that?” I wave at her phone, which is now showing a voicemail notification.

“Yes,” she says, her tone firm. “He does. I don’t know why he’s calling, Charlie, but I’m not interested.” She closes the gap, her fingers finding their way into my hair. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

“And where’s that?”

Emma’s smile falters. “Here. With you.”

For how long?I want to ask, but I don’t think I can handle the answer.

“Not saying it’s not nice to have you here, but what happened to the arrangement? You said it yourself: I’m just a means to an end.”

Sometimes I think fighting’s all I’m good for.

“You know you’re more than that, Charlie.”

“Do I?”

Was I supposed to simply guess at what this was? When it started as bad blood and got tangled up with sex? She didn’t have a problem saying she hated me when she could get something out of me.

So how can I be sure of her feelings now?

“Okay, that’s fair. I should have made it more obvious. I’m sorry. I… I know I wasn’t kind to you in the beginning, and I regret that.”

“I told you back then—I knew what I was getting into.”

Everything soft in her hardens, her eyes, her jaw, her posture. “Good to know I’ve been a burden to you.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Heart thundering, I turn out of her grip.

“I kind of have to, Charlie. You keep talking around whatever you’re avoiding, so I’m stuck filling in the gaps and trying to make sense of it.” She places her hand over mine and squeezes. “You need to tell me what you want, because I can’t make heads or tails of it.”

My needs.

My needs are already taken care of. I have Reese, a roof over my head, a little money saved. It’s not much, but it’s more than I thought I’d get. The rest is nice, but if it went away tomorrow, I’d be okay.

I’d have to be.

“I want to trust that this isn’t just a whim,” I admit. “Can you really promise me that you won’t wake up and change your mind? Decide you don’t want to slum it anymore? That you really do want Logan?”

She straightens, voice hard. “You don’t get to tell me what I want.”

“You’re right. But if I’d known a couple of orgasms were going to make you catch feelings for me, I might not have said yes.”

She rears back like I’ve slapped her. Fuck. “You don’t mean that.”

My heart cracks right in half, but I ignore it. It’s only ever gotten me in trouble. “How do you know this isn’t just becauseof sex? I’m serious. You came to me, telling me you hated me but you wanted my help. Did my feelings even factor in back then?”

---