Page 103 of Take It Offline

“If only outmaneuvering Roberts was as simple as this.”

“We’ll think of something, I promise.”

She straightens, takes a drink. I try not to stare at the long stretch of her neck but fail miserably.

“It’s so nice to talk to someone who sees how awful he is. Logan hated when I talked about the office.”

And the asshole tally goes up.

“My ex was the same,” I admit. “She always complained. Said I cared about work more than anything else.”

“That’s not true,” Emma says, brow furrowed in offense. “You work harder than almost everyone else there, but I don’t doubt for a second you’d quit if it was the right thing to do. I don’t want to make aspersions against a stranger, but this woman didn’t know you very well if she couldn’t see you put family before anything else.”

With a knot rising in my throat, I step around the table to sink the twelve and get a little room to breathe.

“Is that why you broke up?” Emma asks.

“Lucy didn’t think I was capable of loving anyone.” That single sentence sinks the mood like a slab of concrete in a swimming pool.

“What do you think?”

“I think there are much more interesting things we can talk about.”

“I disagree.” She steps back from the table, leaning the cue against her hip. “Your sister is happy that you’ve moved on.”

Getting over Lucy wasn’t easy, but I bet it’ll be a joyride compared to Emma.

I rub my jaw. “Reese seems to think I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night for the past two years.”

“It wouldn’t be a failing if you were. Breakups hurt. She’s worried about you.”

With a scoff, I chalk my cue. “I don’t know why. I’ve got everything I need, plus some shit I don’t. Heartbreak is for people who take love too seriously.”

People fall in love too easily, throwing themselves at it in blind faith, romanticizing the fall and being shocked when the landing hurts like hell.

I don’t want love to be easy. I want it hardened, fortified, absolute. What use do I have for feelings that come and go as quickly as mile markers on the highway?

“You can’t believe that,” Emma says. “Love is one of the most beautiful things we can experience. It’s more than heartbreak. The right person will make life sweeter. It takes work, but it’s all the more rewarding for the effort.”

“Speaking from experience?” I ask.

“No,” she says, ducking her head. “Hope, actually.”

I can’t fault that. I’m glad she still has hope.

I lost mine a long time ago.

“The last time I got stood up,” I admit, finishing my beer and signaling for two more, “I was sitting at the bar talking toRocky. This older couple arrives, and they take the seats next to me. They’re laughing, talking, so Rocky asks them what they’re celebrating. You know what they said? Their divorce.”

Emma’s jaw goes slack with surprise.

I nod. Pretty sure my reaction at the time looked exactly like that. “I’ve seen newlyweds more miserable than these two. I finally asked them about it, and they said they weren’t about to throw away twenty years of friendship just because the sex was terrible. I knew then that’s what I wanted.”

“Terrible sex?” she teases.

I smile, hoping it doesn’t look as sad as it feels. “Funny, but no. What I want is a partner.”

I’ve spent my life sure of one thing: the less I have to lose, the better.

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