Page 70 of Forbidden Hearts

“The money isn’t the issue,” I say, trying to figure out what to say next. Alonzo cares for me, and I know he will insist on helping no matter what I say. “My mom is just stubborn. She refuses to move in with me, and taking care of her from so far away is taking a toll on me.”

Hot tears stream down my face. Instead of covering up what’s happening with a lie, I open up about a different truth. Alonzo wipes the tears from the face with his index finger.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I know all about stubborn parents. If it makes things easier on you, I can help you prep her lunch from now on.”

He looks at the clock on the nightstand and rises to his feet. “Speaking of your mother, I can drive you there today.”

“No,” I tell him. “That’s not necessary.”

I don’t even know if Jacob will let me see her. I probably need to ask him for permission to see her. Who knows what his reapers will do if I show up unannounced at her place?

“I insist,” Alonzo says. “I’ll have Santiago bring the food from your place, and we’ll head out soon. In the meantime, I can fix you some breakfast. Are you up for steak and eggs, or is that too heavy a breakfast for you?”

I tell him to stop before he reaches the door.

“You’re not going to meet my mom,” I say. I can feel the tears bubbling up behind my eyes again.

“Don’t worry, you can just say I’m your friend,” he smiles.

I feel terrible for what I’m about to do, but I know it will only sting him for a bit. He will move on to his next student fling in a few weeks.Iwill be the one in pain for who knows how long.

“I appreciate that you want to help,” I say. “But this is getting to be too much. You’re my professor, not my boyfriend. And this between us is just a fling. It’s not real.”

He works his jaw. “A fling?”

“We both know what this is,” I say. “We both knew it from the moment it started. I think maybe it’s time to end it.”

Alonzo’s eyes darken. He is visibly upset. I don’t think he is used to girls ending things before he’s ready to move on. He is probably the one who ends things first, the one who crushes them.

“What happened last night?” he asks. “We were fine yesterday. I thought—”

“I had a moment of clarity, I suppose,” I say.

My voice is trembling. I know I will cry if I stay in his presence longer. The look on his face is devastating, worse than how I thought he would react.

I don’t want to do this. Yes, I knew it would end eventually. But I thought it would happen further in the future and that I would have time to prepare myself for the inevitable end.

I hate Jacob for making me do this.

“It’s been fun,” I say, sliding out of bed and approaching Alonzo. “But I think this is where things have to end. I’m going to drop your class, too. I don’t want to be a distraction for you.”

His eyes are full of rage, and for a moment, I fear I’ll see the monster he caged years ago. Instead, he opens the door for me and says, “Santiago helped me bring your car last night. I’ll get your keys.”

Chapter 34

Alonzo

As soon as Alex drives away, I head to the backyard and unload my pistol at a dead tree log.

“Jesus Christ, is everything okay,hermano?” Santiago asks.

I’m so consumed by rage that I forgot he’s still here. All I can think about is releasing some of this pent-up anger.

“Everything’s fine,” I say. “What are you still doing here?”

Santiago scoffs. “I can tell everything isfine. What happened? Did Alex leave?”

“Yes. She’s gone.”

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