Page 58 of Never You

The asshole.

“With my luck, it won’t take long before someone snaps a picture of me. Ofus,” he explains, rubbing his neck. “We’ll create a shitstorm if we are seen together again.”

My body tenses as he emphasizes “us” while his eyes wander around the bar with caution. Letting my head hang for just a second, I close my eyes as I rub my forehead to hide from the humiliation that surges through my body.

Three minutes ago, I felt safe, allowing myself to give in to the lust Jensen sparks inside me. And now, I’m standing here in front of him as he talks about me like I’m his dirty secret.

“Right.” I nod, plastering a composed smile on my face, as I brush his words away. “Of course. You’re right.Definitelydon’t want that.”

There’s something else I want.

I want to smack the presumptuous look off his face, calling him out on the fact that once again he’s putting us in the position to create a shitstorm anyway. But embarrassed enough as it is, I decide it’s not worth my energy.

I step back, giving him a clumsy wave, now feeling conscious of everything I do. “Okay, well. Goodnight.”

Quickly, I turn around, determined to disappear as fast as possible, walking like my feet are on fire, but I’m putting on a brave face. I want him to call me back. To tell me he’s making a mistake. To kiss me senseless, erasing the world around us.

But I know I shouldn’t.

There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t get involved with Jared James Jensen, even if it’s just for a night.

He’s bad news. If I’d allow myself to get feelings for anyone again, it definitely shouldn’t be Jensen. It should be someone loving, caring, loyal, smart. Someone who makes me laugh, and who gives me a fluttering feeling in my stomach.

Yeah, that definitely isn’t Jensen.

16

The next morning, I feel as shitty as when I went to bed last night.

She stomped out of the bar like someone lit a fire up her perky ass, with heavy shoulders, and I regretted my words the second they were spoken out loud.

I enjoyed the carefree posture she’d been giving us all evening, and I saw it dissolve in a split second because I decided playingsafewas the right thing, for once. Even though I think it was the smartest thing to do for both of us, my mind kept thinking about her disappointed face and how much I wanted to kiss her. She said she agreed, but I could detect the hurt in Rae’s eyes, and it’s been haunting me the entire night.

I’m such a moron.

For hours, I glared at the ceiling, wondering what my life would look like if I didn’t have the pressure of my family resting on my shoulders. They think I’m the rebel child, always wanting more than the privileges my family provides.

A selfish piece of shit.

One of the things thrown at my face many times. I guess when I grew up, I decided to act the part, doing whatever the fuck I wanted. When I moved to LA to skate for the Knights, it was like I felt somewhat free for the first time. Yeah, I still attended most of my parents’ events, and yeah, I agreed to date Emily when my mother arranged it, but other than that?

I did whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted, no matter the collateral. I guess it compensates for all the times my parents still find a way to make me play my part in our happy family.

“You look tired, mate,” Bodi points out, as we step into the elevator. “Late night?”

I take a deep breath, pushing the button to the ground floor.

“Nah, just stuff on my mind.”

“Stuff? Cryptic,” he replies skeptically.

Placing my sunglasses over my eyes to hide the fatigue, I ignore my best friend, knowing he’s gonna bring it up sooner or later anyway. Bodi isn’t the one to keep his mouth shut about anything. He’s the one who keeps telling me to take the damn plunge and tell my parents to go fuck themselves.

Trust me, I want to.

But I can’t risk my parents moving their attention to my little sister, and I can’t risk my father taking away the one thing I live for. They’ve got connections anywhere, even in the NHL, and playing hockey is the only thing I love to do. I have never told anyone how my father threatened to kill my career, keeping it tucked away as deep as possible.

But really, it’s been hanging over my head like a thundercloud ever since. Wondering if he’s really that powerful.

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