Page 40 of Never You

“Don’t be.”

Our eyes lock, connecting in the shimmering light pouring through the darkness of the room, a feeling of comfort washing over me at the same time my heart starts to beat louder.

“Rae?” he finally hums, a gruffness laced in his voice.

“Yeah?”

“If you don’t want me to touch you, you should turn around and go to sleep.” The words are pushed out of his lips, as if he has a hard time voicing them, and for a minute, the boldness tucked inside of me seeps through, dying to tell him to go for it.

What would it be like to be ravished by Jared James Jensen?

But instead, I nod. “Yeah, sure.”

We both switch sides, our backs now only a few inches apart as we lay beside each other in the queen-sized bed.

“Goodnight, babe.”

The corner of my mouth curls, loving the flirty tone in his voice.

“Goodnight, Jensen.”

10

Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of Rae Stafford in my arms and how good it fucking feels.

I wake up from the warmth that’s glued against my chest, cracking an eye open and squinting at my surroundings. My lips are being graced by a pile of hair as I turn my head to the side with my eyes still halfway closed.

Sucking in the scent of her hair, my body lingers in the blissful stage of awareness, but I’m still too sleepy to move a muscle.

It took her a while to fall asleep. I’d been listening to her breathing, anxious to hold her against me as I thought about how fucked up my world is right now.

I’m on a road trip to hide from the paparazzi, bolt from my expectation, and definitely avoid my mother. I have a relationship I’m expected to fix, yet all I can think of is the blonde lying next to me. The one that stirs more feelings inside of me than anyone ever has, good or bad. When her breathing slowed, and I knew she fell asleep, I turned on my back, looking at the ceiling with a weird lump forming in my stomach, doing my best to not pull her into my arms.

But in our unconscious state she apparently thought otherwise, and now I can never recover from this level of comfort.

I feel like a hurricane has stormed through my life the last few days, and now I’m looking at the debris, knowing I have to fix it all.

But I don’t know if I want to fix it.

I don’t know whether to fix the old house or just build a new one.

I fully enjoy my arm wrapped around her warm body and when I fully open my eyes.I’m in so much shit.

The morning is starting to kick in, the room now a little less dark than before. Rae’s head rests on my chest with even breaths while her slender arm is draped over my stomach. Without thought, my hand reaches up, running my fingers through her silky blonde tendrils, enjoying the comfort it brings me.

My mind argues with me. Telling me I shouldn’t get this comfortable. That I shouldn’tfeelthis comfortable.

That the whole reason I’m staying the night in a hotel in Arizona is because I need Rae to help me get Emily back. I need her to get my mother off my back until I figure out what I’m gonna do with this wholemarriagething. Or what I’m gonna do with my parents trying to control my entire life. I’m not like my brother Finn. He falls in line effortlessly because that’s who he is. He’s a well-known and respected lawyer, attends all the right events, hangs out with the best connections, supports more charities than I can remember, all while being the perfect all-American son without him even trying. And my sister… well, she’s a senior, so other than showing her face at events, she’s still off the hook. At least as long as I still show up, dressed like the politician part, to play my part.

But me?

Fuck, man.I just wanna skate and chill. When I think about marriage, I think about watching a movie on the couch, going skiing on Christmas, heading out for a Sunday drive without a destination. Not showing our faces on every red carpet and posing for Instagram pictures every five minutes.

That’s not me.

The truth, though? I’m not sure what isme.

All I know is what is expected of me.

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