Page 115 of Never You

For a second, I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his hand against mine as I pretend for just a minute this is our forever. To pretend his father isn’t New Jersey’s next governor, and he doesn’t have a reputation to take into consideration. To pretend we are just a boy and girl, enjoying every minute together.

“Do you ever wonder if you should change your path? If it’s time for change?” he asks.

My head rears his way, cautiously watching the troubled look that’s darkening his face.

Is he talking about me? About us? Is this the part where he tells me thatit was fun, but I gotta go?

Swallowing hard, I push the fear away that rapidly grows in my stomach as my hand goes damp in his.

“I do.” I raise my chin, answering honestly. “That's why I moved back home.”

There was nothing wrong with my LA life. It was fun; it was glamorous. It made me grow up. But in the end, it wasn’t me. I knew this life was just a cop out until I was ready to face my demons back at home.

“LA is not me,” I add, although I don’t know why. I feel like I need to explain to him, to let him know I’m not going back to LA. Ever. And after that phone call with his agent, it became pretty clear he’s not moving to the East Coast anytime soon.

“It’s not me either.” I can hear the sadness in his voice. His pained energy almost suffocates me. I want to wrap him in my arms and tell him everything will be fine, even though I don’t even know what is hurting the most.

“Then why stay?”

He lets go of my hand, running a hand through his hair, and I hate the loss of connection. As if he’s rejecting me. As if it’s personal.

“I don’t know.” When he glances over at me, I can see the confusion, the lost boy. It’s only brief, gone within a second, but I saw it. He can hide a lot behind his cocky stance, ready to tell the world to go fuck themselves. But I see the craving for confirmation, for validation. The craving to be enough. I want to be the one who gives him that, but my own fear cripples me from saying anything.

So instead, I grab his hand once more, squeezing it, before I turn my focus back to the trees passing by in the darkness, silently telling him I’m here.

I’m here, and I hope he doesn’t let me go.

35

The next morning, I’m waiting for Jensen, resting my back against the car as I enjoy the warmth of the summer sun. Leaves dance from the maple tree above my head, and I suck in a deep breath to wallow in this peaceful moment.

It’s decided. No more worrying.

No matter what happens, I’m going to enjoy every moment of this day.

My head pops up when the front door opens, and I stare at the sexy man walking down my porch steps. Hiding from behind the safety of my sunglasses, I gawk at him, keeping my face as straight as possible. His white t-shirt shows off his sun kissed skin, his jeans hang low on his hips, and his sunglasses cover his mesmerizing eyes. But it isn’t until a smirk slides into place that my heart stops for a brief moment. Time seems to slow down as my cheeks soak up the burning heat of the sun, and I cross my arms, supposedly unimpressed.

But really, I just try to hide my heart from jumping out of my chest.

He looks like a fucking GQ model.

“So, where are we going?” He nudges his chin, closing the distance with big strides before placing both hands beside my head while I don’t move from leaning against my car. A whiff of his fresh and clean cologne makes half my brain stop functioning as I look up at him. He leans in, brushing his lips on mine, and being greedy as fuck for him, I press my lips against his with much more vigor.

“Hmm, good morning to you too.” A lopsided grin greets me.

“This was your idea.”

His lips find my neck, burying his nose in my hair, as he rests his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m starting to doubt that plan right now.”

My eyes close, completely surrendered by his touch until the rest of my brain sparks back to life. “We are in my front yard.”

“I know,” he muses, undisturbed.

“Where Ilive.”

“I know.” He leaves a trail of kisses on my skin, each burning more than the one before.

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