“That was the AFA.”Don’t say it.“They need me to fly to LA tonight.”
My eyes mist over, a lump the size of a fucking bowling ball building in my throat.
“For how long?” I manage to croak out, but one look in his troubled gaze already gives me a clear answer.
“For the rest of the summer.”
And I feel my heart break a little.
“I’m just going to tell them that I need a couple more weeks.” Hunter’s standing on my front lawn, lifting his snapback from his head to run a hand through his hair.
I don’t want to have this conversation. Period. I knew it was inevitable, and the thought alone was chipping away at my heart. But I had convinced myself that we had at least the rest of the summer to figure it all out. That we still had time to make memories and come up with a solution that would work. I was silently praying that my mother was feeling a lot better at the end of the summer and I could go with him. I secretly had been applying to a few universities, with the intent to have options, if by the end of the summer we’d still want a future together.
But the minute he got that phone call, I knew everything I planned was vanishing in front of my eyes. There was no avoiding it. There was no way around it. Our burning flame was bright and short-lived, and I know that the distance will ruin whatever more we wanted to build beyond our deep friendship. It’s too soon to make a definite decision when we really just admitted our feelings five days ago.
We need more time. Time we don’t have.
Sitting on the steps of my front porch, the sun burns down on me with a heat that’s scorching. The warm wood that’s connected with my ass has me glued, unable to move as I look into his warm eyes. Pain is etching through them, as if his heart is being torn in two, and I do my best to keep my emotions inplace, knowing I will make him doubt his decision if I shed even a single tear.
I can’t ask him to stay. It’s not fair. So, instead, I push out the words that hurt like razor blades moving down my gullet.
“It was one night, Hunter. We shouldn’t put it all on the line for one night. Not now that you’re going to be halfway across the country half the time.”
“It wasn’t one night! It was more than that, and you know it!”
“You have to go. This is what you’ve been working for.”
“What if I’ve been working for you?” His voice is strained.
“Hunt.” He can’t. I can’t let him do this.
He brings his fist to his lips, closing his eyes. My tongue presses against my cheek to hold in the water that’s pooling behind my own.
“What if I don’t want to do this without you?”
“No. I’m not going to let you do this. You’re going.”
He shakes his head, pressing his lips together. “I just got you.”
“You’ll always have me. Nothing is going to change that.”
“You know what I mean.”
Of course I know what he means. My heart is yelling at me, demanding to stop digging the hole I’m about to fall into. But asking him to stay would be selfish. Giving him a reason to put it all on the line would make him regret it all in the end. I have to have faith that we will find our way. This is not a forever goodbye.
“I think you should focus on fighting right now. That’s your future.”
“What does that mean?” His shrug lacks energy, gutting me.
I suck in a breath of fresh air that stretches my neck with a determined smile, hoping I can at least fool him if I can’t fool myself. “It means that we’ll go back to being best friends.”
“Best friends?” Frustrated, he turns his back to me, looking up at the sky.
“It’s the only option, Hunt,” I continue. “You can’t have any distractions. You can’t be worried about me when you’re in California and I’m still here in North Carolina. At least until my mama gets better. And then we’ll see. Maybe I can go to college in California. You can take me to Disney.”
He turns his head back to me, looking at me with his piercing gaze. It feels like he’s grown in the last week. He’s no longer the boy I met that day at the creek. He’s all man, ready to take control of his life.
“Is this what you want?”