Page 184 of Always You

I want to tell her that I was stupid. That I was an asshole, too afraid to admit what I’ve been wanting to admit for so long. But before I can reply, she opens her mouth again while a breeze blows a few strands of her hair in front of her face. “I wanted to talk to you the summer after graduation, but you didn’t have anything to say,Hunt.”

I clench my jaw, frustrated when she’s slipping away.

“I have something to saynow.”

She pulls her arm free, giving me a push with an ominous glare.

“AndnowI don’t want to hear it!”

“Charlotte!” I shout when she walks aways from me again.

“No!” She spins, pointing a finger at my chest. “Ever since we became friends, my world has revolved around you. Aroundus.Right now? It’s about me! And I don’t want to hear it. I just fucking want to be left alone,” she growls, then starts marching through the gate.

I let out a feral roar, looking up at the sky, not knowing what to do. The sun warms my face in a soothing way, but inside it feels like I’m suffocating. That strong feeling of something dying inside of me I had when she left me on the sidewalk a year ago.

When I arrived back in Braedon, I felt confident, ready to do whatever it takes. Now, I’m seriously questioning if I shouldlet her go. But the thought also makes my heart tighten in my chest. We have this unspoken connection I don’t think will ever disappear, but what if that’s all that’s left? What if she really just wants to be friends because I broke any other feelings she might’ve had?

Dragging a hand over my face, I look at the headstone, thinking back to the letter Liz sent me.

We both know you will never love anyone more than you love my daughter, she said. And I know it’s true. After Jason forced me to pull my head out of my ass, I was ready to go to war for her heart. Receiving Liz’s letter pushed out any doubt I felt. But standing here, alone, makes the uncertainty rush through my body all over again.

I pull out my phone, needing a tiny push to keep going.

HUNTER:She doesn’t want to talk to me.

I wait, staring at the screen, until those three dots appear.

JULIE:She’s hurt

HUNTER:Should I let her go?

JULIE:Hunter Hansen, you are not the insecure asshole you pretend to be. Stop asking me stupid questions.

73

I’ve been sitting on the porch steps for ten minutes, replaying the last hour in my head, when Hunter parks his truck in my driveway. I knew he would. I wish he would respect my desire to be alone almost as much as I want him to be here. Because as much as I’ll never be ready for this conversation, it’s as inevitable as the moon appearing within the next few hours to announce the nightfall.

Giving me a blank look, he gets out of the truck, running a hand through his hair.

He slowly walks toward me with tentative steps, and I reach up my hand to make him stop, knowing I will break if he comes any closer. I will cave before I say everything I need to say. He gives me a troubled look, tucking his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“At first, I thought losing you was the worst day of my life.” He swallows, his lips in a flat line. “Then I thought it was Mama dying. Then I flew out to LA, and literally felt my heart pulled from my body when I said goodbye to you,again.” I shake my head, my voice cracking as my eyes well up. “But I was wrong, because the day you came home was the worst day of my life.”

Uneasiness painting his face, though I’m sure not for the reason I have in my head. “Why, babe?”

I wet my lips, pressing them tightly together while I close my eyes to prevent the tears from running down my cheeks.Not yet.Not until I’ve said it all.

“Hey, talk to me.” He squats in front of me, too close for me to stay indifferent, grabbing my knees with a desperate look on his face.

“I can’t.”

“You can always talk to me,” he says with a choking voice, squeezing my knees in encouragement.

His words make me remember how I used to tell him everything, feeling completely comfortable with him. I’ve confessed I loved him multiple times, and he never said it back until it was too late. He never told me how he felt, not even when I needed it the most. Can I believe him now?

Can I trust him like I once did?

Can we ever grow from the pain and chaos we created?

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