Page 162 of Always You

“I know I did. But I’m going to try to fix it for the rest of my life.”

“Why?!” I snap my gaze back up.

“Because I love you!”

For at least five seconds, my gaze travels up and down his haunted expression. Pebbles coat my skin, and I’m pretty sure it’s not from the water. Disbelief has my heart stuttering as I shake my head, putting on my shoes.

“No.No. You don’t get to tell me that! You don’t say those words! You said them to her, but you refused to say them to me! You can’t say them now like suddenly they mean something!”

“I never said them to her. I never denied it, but I never flat out told her I loved her either.” He pulls his shirt over his head, then runs a hand through his dampened hair. “I couldn’t. Because I didn’t. I lo—” I cut him off before he can repeat it again.

“No. No, I don't want to hear it. It took me six months to function, Hunter. I’m finally alright. You can’t fuck up my life again. I won’t let you.” I bravely let out the words, but sadness fogs my eyes, out of my control. My throat hurts from trying to hold back my rampaging emotions as I get up, pinching the bridge of my nose.Good luck there.

“Babe.”

I lift up my gaze. “You weren’t there.” The worst week of my life, and he wasn’t there for me. He was supposed to be my friend. “She died and I needed you. And you weren’t there. Every single time you didn’t answer your phone, I fell deeper and deeper into my sadness. You can’t undo that.”

“I know.” The light goes out in his eyes, simmering with regret, but it all means jack shit right now.

“You missed the funeral.”

“I know.”

“She loved you, you know.” Despite his asshole behavior, my mama loved him like a son. Sometimes it was frustrating, especially the moments I wanted to strangle him, but I couldn’t blame her either.

“I know.” Silence grows between us, then I catch movement in his lips. “I-”

“No,” I interrupt. “I don’t want to hear it.” I don’t want an explanation. I don’t want an apology. I’m not ready for it.

“Okay. What do you want?”

“Take me home.”

Hurt flashes in his hazel-brown eyes, but finally, he gives me a curt nod, then puts on the rest of his clothes.

The drive back into town is silent. Awkward. But at this point, I’m too tired to care. A few moments my thoughts drift to where my eyes well up, but I manage to keep the tears at bay, pushing them away with the anger still bubbling inside me.

I can’t pretend he didn’t break something between us, and frankly, I don’t want to anymore.

A while later, he parks in my driveway. The house looks exactly the same as it did seven years ago. White with blue windows and rose bushes wrapped around the porch. A gnome that I broke playing in the yard when I was eight. It’s home, but even though the exterior hasn't changed, the feeling I have looking at it has changed all the more. I know that when I walk over that threshold, emptiness will wait for me, and for the first time since Mama died, I don’t want to go in.

But I know I have to.

I step out of the truck and catch Hunter doing the same before I can shut the door.

“Stay,” I order.

He turns around, half his body still inside the truck. “Charls, I–”

“No, Hunter.” I’m adamant about this. The last thing I need is him giving me even more to think about than I already have. “I meant what I said. I don’t want to hear it. Maybe someday. But not now. Not today. I’ve had a very shitty week, and you keep pissing me off, and I just can’t deal.”

“Okay,” he agrees, then sits back in his seat, closing the door. “What can I do?”

“Leave me alone.” The expression that washes his face tells me that’s the last thing he wants to do, but it’s what I want. It’s what Ineed. “Please.”

I don’t wait for his reply, but close the door, holding his gaze. Tormented eyes stare back at me through the window before his chest moves up, sucking in a deep breath. Never deviating his eyes from mine, he backs up his truck. I wait until he turns the vehicle back on the road, then drives off, and I finally let myself collapse.

My knees fall to the gray concrete, my tears slipping out one by one. The pain that's pulsing through my veins demolishes all the restraint I had, and for a few minutes, I just sit there, letting myself drown in my own sorrow, as if an unexpected rain cloud has broken above my head.

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