Page 105 of Always You

“Don’t.” I shake my head, offering him a small smile while I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it. Best friends, right? That’s what we are. That’s all we've ever been.”

He doesn’t answer, instead he swallows hard as his gaze wandering off, his thoughts taking over, the strong man beingreplaced by the young boy I met at the creek that day. Looking lost in his life, having no clue what to do.

“Hunter,” I bellow, trying to snap him out of his thoughts. His eyes lock with mine, desperation washing his face, and I close the distance between us, placing my hand over his heart as I look up at him, knowing he’s close to losing his shit. “It’s for the best.”

Finally, he nods, his stern look still piercing through me as I do my best to stay strong. You know how sometimes in life you reach a turning point? The end of the road, and all you can do is go left or right, hoping you’ll choose the right path? This is it. I know that no matter what happens after today, whatever Hunter and I have, this moment will change it. It can either destroy us, or it can build us as high as a skyscraper, but looking into his troubled gaze, I know it’s not my decision anymore.

I confessed.

I can’t force him to do the same.

“I’m leaving.” Not waiting for his reaction, I look past him at Jason. “Can you take me home?”

Jason nods, and I look up one last time, cupping his cheek. His silence is slowly killing me inside. Yet I pretend to be fine.

“Goodbye, Hunt.” Giving him one last smile, I break our connection. He moans, a sound that aches all the way through my bones, and I sense his hand going over my stomach as I walk toward Jason. With fire and Jason on my heels, I trot down the street, resisting the urge to look back.

“Are you okay, Charlotte?” Jason asks, trying to keep up with me.

“Not even a little bit,” I confess without hesitation. “But I will be.”

36

All the times my mother told me I was a worthless piece of shit, and yesterday, I finally proved her right.

I fucked up so bad.

I absentmindedly swirl my feet through the cold water of the pool, staring into the ripples of the surface. The sun burns on my bare chest, but not as much as it’s frying my pounding brain. It feels like a knife is jammed into my skull every time I angle my neck a little differently, but I welcome it. I fucking deserve all the torment I can get.

“You think that if you sit there long enough, the sun will melt your sins away?”

I glance up, wincing when a jolt of pain runs through my scalp.

“The sun ain’t that powerful.” I rear my head back in front, my gaze colliding with the Hollywood sign as Jensen lowers his body into the pool.

“Ah, shit, that’s cold.”

“Pussy,” I mutter.

The asshole splashes water my way, a shit-eating grin on his face before he completely submerges into the pool. Two seconds later, he jumps back up like a fucking dolphin, glistening in the sun, before swinging his dark hair back.

His smile remains, but it lowers when he studies my stance. “She’ll come around, man.”

I snort, a humorless laugh echoing over the water. “She won’t. Not this time.” I saw it in her eyes. The sheer disappointment. Regret. She told me she loved me, and I couldn’t say it back. But it’s not even that. I think we could’ve overcome that. No, it’s me deliberately hurting her because I freaked out.Again.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Jules.” Jason walks out on bare feet, his phone to his ear, and I look up at him when he stands beside me. His navy shirt matches his eyes that are squinting at me with a scowl that hasn’t left since last night.

“Charlotte got home safe.”

I swallow, fixing my gaze back in front of me.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He sits down beside me, his lower legs sinking into the water while Jensen flips his attention back and forth between the two of us.

“About what?” What’s the fucking point? She’s not coming back, and I can’t fucking blame her.

“About the fact that you pushed the one person away who was willing to put up with your sorry ass?”

I groan, then snap him a glare that comes straight from hell. “I don’t fucking deserve her, J.” Nobody does. But certainly not me.

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