Page 62 of Always You

This was a mistake.

I take in the people hauling themselves into the creek. Girls squeal when their hair gets wet. Boys holler when they lift into the air by the swinging rope they set up on the big oak on the riverbank, before they crash through the water. A group of guys is trying to light a fire, now that the sun is slowly setting behind the tree line.

But it's all a blur looking at it with my dark mood.

My mother’s words still echo through my head like church bells ringing every hour.

“I can’t wait until you graduate and get the fuck out of here.”

She doesn’t mean itwas the first thing that snapped into my head.She’s drunk, but she doesn’t want you to leave. She’ll miss you once you’re gone.But I’m at the point where I need to stop telling myself these lies and accept the fact that my entire family died that night. Including my mother.

I thought coming here was a good idea. That it would push away my thoughts, maybe cheer me up a little, but I was wrong.

It only makes me realize I don’t want to be surrounded by people right now.

I just want one.

My eyes keep glancing back at Charlotte. She sits near the creek with Julie, occasionally dipping their toes into the water. She looks relaxed, more relaxed than I’ve seen her for a while.I don’t want to ruin it for her, but at the same time, all I want to do is drag her out of here and hang out in my truck.

I let her be for a while, knowing she hasn’t seen Julie in a long time. But at some point, I can’t keep up with whatever Jason and the boys are talking about as we hang out on the tailgate of Jason’s truck, and before I know it, I jump off.

“Where are you going?” Jason bellows behind me.

“I’ll be right back.”

I saunter over to check on her, aching to hold her in my arms after the day I had.

Julie’s hair sways over her shoulder as we lock eyes. “What’s up, Julie?”

“Coming to claim your girl again?” she jokes, wiggling her eyebrows at me as Charlotte twists her body to look up at me too.

“Only if she wants me to.” I shrug, my eyes locking with Charlotte’s. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

“Mmhmm,” she muses, giving me a coy smile.

“You wanna go?”

She stays quiet, her eyes moving back and forth over my face, as if she’s trying to decipher my mood. I’m praying she can read between the lines, decoding the words I can’t say out loud.Let’s get out of here. I just want to be with you. I need you.

“Nah, we can stay. It’s okay.”

Fuck.

“You sure?”

“Definitely.”

“Alright. You wanna come hang with me for a bit?” I lift my snapback to run a hand through my hair, putting it back on my head backwards. She stays quiet, biting her lip, looking cute as hell, and I do my best to suppress a groan.

Just tell her, man.

“I’m gonna stay here, okay? Hang out with Julie and catch up.”

My ribs tighten as a cold breeze rushes through my core. She eyes her friend, and I nod in agreement, even though deep down my heart is saying no.

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