Page 15 of Always You

Having her for a moment will never be enough.

“Yeah? Then why are you standing here gawking from afar?” He jams his elbow in my ribs, erupting a chuckle from me as I crouch forward, grabbing my side.

“Fuck you, asshole.”

“You got a thing for book nerds now?”

I huff in response, shooting him a glare, calling him out on his bullshit.

“She’s hardly a fucking nerd.”

“Yeah, she’s definitely a hot nerd,” he admits, a smile splitting his face. “You like her, don’t you?”

“I do, but it’s not like that.” Fuck me, I’m so full of shit. It’s totally like that, but she’s not the girl you fuck and leave.

“Then what’s it like?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him she’s special. One of those girls you cherish for the rest of your life, because you know they will always be there for you if you play your cards right.

I know I can’t say that after one conversation, but it’s there in every fiber of my body. In fact, I’ve always known. She’s one of those gems you can’t afford to let go. A girl that has a bright future with a loving husband and a bunch of kids. One of those girls that don’t spend their lives putting up with guys like me.

She’s endgame.

Just not mine.

4

Ishould have stayed home.

I take the red cup from Julie’s hand, bringing it to my lips to take a sip, letting the bitter and watery flavor of the beer settle on my tongue.

It’s fucking disgusting.

This is my third one, and it still tastes like shit, making me wonder why I’m drinking it at all. We’ve been hanging out for an hour, and so far, I’m not getting drunk, just more annoyed with all the drunk people around me.

The bark of the tree presses uncomfortably into my thighs, but I stay seated to avoid awkwardly standing around while I nurse the cup in my hand.

Sometimes I wish I was less boring, that I’d be able to really enjoy all the school stuff going on, but I just can’t. With a sick mom, I’ve learned to look for different things to enjoy. If anything, my mother’s illness made me realize life is fucking short. And getting drunk on tepid beer with a bunch of kids doing stupid stuff like Drink Or Blackout just isn’t my type of adventure.

It feels like a waste of time.

And time is precious.

“Why are we drinking this crap?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow at Julie standing in front of me, pulling a face as she lets the yellow liquid move down her throat.

“Because we’re fresh out of Dom.”

Funny girl.

“It’s bad.”

“It’s fucking gross,” she agrees with a wince, “but it’s all there is, and we need to loosen up.”

Her ass shakes from left to right while wiggling her brows up and down, a soft breeze flying through her hair.

She looks ridiculous, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Seems like you’re loose enough.”

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