Page 145 of Always You

“She got hit by a truck driving home. He was drunk.”

No.

“Charls.”

No, this is not true.

“Don’t.” She raises her hand, closing her eyes to take a breath, before they open again.

“When?”

“Last week.” Her voice shakes as she gives me an intense stare that scares the shit out of me, a cold chill covering my shoulders like a wet blanket. “You know? That time that I called you excessively because I needed you and you texted me,‘I’m in the middle of something. Will call you later’?And then you didn’t. You brushed me off like some annoying little girl, begging for your attention.” She clenches her jaw, and her nostrils flare as her voice becomes louder with every word. “But really, I was begging for my best friend, because I needed his comforting words. His smile to brighten up my now pitch-black world. I needed one of his lame jokes to make the pain in my chest lift for just one second. I needed you, goddamnit!” she shouts, her pain hitting every single one of my organs with slicing realization.

Heat creeps up over every inch of my skin, a sheer contrast with the shivering of the bristle hairs on my back. My eyes go wide, letting out a strangled cry when I realize exactly what day she’s talking about.No. No. Fuck no!

“You missed the fucking funeral, asshole! You know the funny part? I’ve waited for my mother to die since I was eight. I prepared myself for years, waiting for the train to arrive at the station, and when it did, it still hit me in the fucking face.”

“I-I’msosorry,” I push out, dragging my hands over my face, before I reach out for her to give in to my need to hold her against my chest while cursing myself. I should’ve listened to my gut. I should’ve told Laurie to get over her insecurities.

I should’ve answered the goddamn phone!

“Don’t touch me.” She slaps my hand away. “Don’t touch me when you’re still too much of a coward to say it!”

“Say what?”

She raises her chin in the air, a scowl in place. “Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me, because Iknowyou do! We keeppretending we’re friends, when we’ve always been more than that. Youloveme. Admit it.”

Processing her words, I stare at her, the wind of the hills gushing through my messy hair, feeling an aching pain in the back of my throat.

I want to give her those words and make it all better. I don’t know shit about love, but if there is anything that comes close to it stored inside of me, it’s reserved for her.

And only her.

No one compares to her, and I know it.

She’s the only thing that ever made me doubt taking that leap of faith, willing to risk it all. I might be engaged to someone else, but most days, I don’t even know why, because Charlotte still lingers in the back of my head, deep in my soul, a part of me. But crossing that line means there is no way back.

She will expect everything from me.

And she deserves it all. She deserves better.

“Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

She shakes her head. “For who? For me? Or for you? Because I never asked you for more. I don’t give a shit about your money, your cars, the life you’re living. For me, love is enough.Youare enough. It’s you that needs more than that. It’s me who isn’t enough for you. It was never the other way around. Tell me, Hunter!” she demands, her voice becoming more frantic with each sentence while her eyes turn glassy. “Tell me we are going to cut this bullshit right now and admit you love me, or I’ll walk away once and for all. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep pretending. Tell me you love me, or set me free. Let me go.Please.” Her pleading look is devastating.

“Charlotte.” I don’t even know what else to say as she’s slipping away, knowing this is the end, yet praying it isn’t. My heart pounds a few times, loud and painful, before her humorless snicker hits me in the face.

“You know, one day you are going to look around, thinking what the fuck am I doing? And my face will appear, telling you I told you so.”

“What do you suggest I do?” I ask, my hands tucked inside the pockets of my sweatpants. My mind goes back to the moment I heard Logan and my dad were in an accident, feeling the exact same way right now.

Helpless.

Alone.

Unworthy.

“None of this would’ve happened if you would just get your head out of your ass and come home!”