“Well, do you?”
“What?”
I let out a grunt, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Love her.”
“I’m not capable of love,” he whispers, a sad tone shimmering through his voice.
“Will you stop lying to me?Please?”
“I’m not lying, babe.”
“Everyone is capable of love, Hunter. Including you.” I wish I could get through to him at some point, although the jealous streak inside me doesn’t mind his explanation. Something Iwill smack myself in the head later for because Hunter and I are friends again, but this phone call makes it very clear we’re nothing more than that.
“Maybe.”
“Well, don’t tell Laurie that. She won’t appreciate it.” I sigh, avoiding Julie’s gaze. “Share, Hunt. That’s the only way this will work. Just be my friend. That’s all you gotta do.”
“You’re right, babe. I’m sorry. I’ll share.”
“Right. I gotta go now. I’m at the bar with Julie. We’ll talk later?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Bye, Hunt.”
“Bye, Charls.”
I throw my phone on the bar with a small thud, snapping my head toward Julie, who’s looking at me with a face that tells me she doesn’t agree with whatever he just said. I expect her to ask for a recap of the conversation, but she cocks her eyebrow with a frown on her lips, verbally kicking me straight in the gut with her question.
“I love Hunter. You know I do, but how long are you going to wait for that boy?”
“I’m not waiting for him.” I turn around, pulling a bottle of tequila from the shelf and two shot glasses before placing them on the bar.
“Yeah, you are.”
“He’s my best friend, that’s all,” I say, shrugging my shoulders and pouring the translucent liquid into the tiny glasses. I silently laugh as the words roll off my tongue like I rehearsed it in front of the mirror, because it’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told.
I love him.
I’ve always loved him, even though I keep telling myself he is my best friend. The smart thing would be to end this for good. To end our so-called friendship that we try so hard tokeep alive, even though I know it’s doomed to end in pieces either way, just like it did two years ago. But I can’t break loose. I can’t let go. I can’t force him to swim on his own, because I’m terrified he’ll drown, knowing I’ve been his lifeline since that day at the creek.
My heart won’t let me live with that possibility.
“He’s not. But you already know that.”
“Shut up.” I hold the shot in front of her nose, and she reluctantly reaches out her manicured fingers to take it from my grasp.
“You can’t save him, Charlie.”
I swallow hard, knowing she’s right as my eyes well up. “I know, but I’m all he’s got.”
“He is going to drag you under.”
Her words cut through my heart like a knife through butter, feeling like a junkie that refuses to go to rehab. Never wanting to really let go, always in need of the next hit, even though I know, one day, it will kill me. It’s my biggest weakness. My biggest flaw, and maybe I’ll realize it’s my biggest mistake.
“He won’t,” I say, closing my eyes, praying I’m right before I let the tequila burn another hole in my heart.
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