Page 68 of Forgive You

Jason and I are…good?

He hasn’t kissed me again since he declared a truce. Which I’m both grateful for and annoyed by.

The last thing I wanna do is get all tangled up in a sticky situation that can escalate whatever Jacob has up his sleeve. But it’s alsoexactlywhat I wanna do.

My eyes are drawn to the man of the hour. And nope, I don’t mean Ford, who’s acting like the class clown while he’s posing in front of the camera. He’s fun. He’s handsome.

But he’s not the one who occupies my mind.

No, it’s the brooding specimen keeping an eye from the left wall.

With his back against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his biceps stand out against his dark blue Henley. His sleeves are pushed up, showing off his sculpted lower arms. Man, I want them to grab me and never let go.

His short blond hair is a big question mark, something between a styled look and just a wet hand through his hair. Knowing Jason, it can be both.

He laughs, the sound tickling my insides like it’s nobody’s business. Yeah, that damn kiss totally fucked me up. Now I keep staring at his mouth, filled with desire to feel it creating a path up and down my body. To feel his tongue—

My daydream is interrupted by a vibration in my back pocket, and I pull out my phone.

“Julie Bradford?”

“Yeah, this is she.”

“Hi, this is Dr. Emily Carter from Pacific Heights Medical Center. I’m calling for the result of your pap smear.”

“Okay.”

“Unfortunately, we found some disturbed cells in your cervix, and we want to make sure it’s nothing serious.”

“Serious?”

“It could very well be nothing, but to make sure we want to do a colposcopy to further test some tissue and make sure.”

“Can it be cancer?” I can’t believe I’m asking this question.

“There’s a possibility, but right now, we don’t have any indication that it is. It really doesn’t say that much. A lot of women carry this virus. There’s no reason to worry until we get the results.”

“Right.”

“Can you come in next Tuesday at 9?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I don’t hear whatever she says next. I’m almost certain that I forget how to breathe. At least that would explain the rigid feeling in my chest that grows stronger by the second. Why is it so hot in here?

I fan my face with my hand, clinging onto the fabricated breeze it’s creating.

Can it be cancer?

There’s a possibility.

I could have cancer? This is a joke, right? Some shit prank from the universe? It has to be. The tight feeling around my heart spreads down to my stomach as if whatever lump is forming inside of me is made out of solid concrete.

Ford’s laughter rings through the fog in my mind as he’s posing in front of the camera. He’s blurry. He’s not supposed to be blurry.

Shit, it’s happening again.Shit, shit, shit.

I reach out to anything around me to stay steady on my feet, but all I have is the wall my back is pressed against when my legs buckle underneath me. My phone clashes next to me on the floor, and heads are turned my way.

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