Page 49 of Forgive You

I nod, because the alcohol hits me a little harder. My muscles relax as I fixate on her pretty eyes, easing my anger.

Focus, Jason.

“I’m also mad.” I tilt my head with a reprimanding frown, and my chest tightens when her features grow stale again.

“Jason, I can’t. Please...” The fatigue taking over her face feels like a sledgehammer knocking into me.

It’s the same look she would be wearing like an invisible mask whenever Jacob disappointed her again. It was always hard for me to see it, but knowing it’s there because I hurt her is ten times worse.

“I know.” I shake my head. “Neither can I.”

Not now. Even if I wake up tomorrow with a hangover and regret from calling her, I need this moment. I need one moment where we’re just Julie and Jason.

One moment when I can at least believe I’m her hero again.

A fucked-up one, but still her hero.

She looks gorgeous with her blonde hair spread out over the pillow of her pink couch, her skin free of makeup. She’s drowned in her gray hoodie, most of her body tucked away under a fluffy cream blanket, and all I can think of is how I want to cuddle up beside her and close my eyes.

How I want to hold on to her, feel her warmth against me, and how I wonder if she’d still smell like vanilla if I press my nose against her neck.

I really fucking miss her.

“I’m sorry I barged through your door. I don’t want to fight with you.” I hold her gaze as it mirrors the same hurt that's rooted deep in my heart. “I hate him for stripping us of our friendship.”

Her lips stay together, eyes softening as the corners lift in a sad smile. “He didn’t though, Jason.Wedid.”

My chin falls to my chest. She’s right. Our friendship has always been weird. Our attraction is even more confusing. But in the end, it wasn’t Jacob that fucked it all up. It was on us.

I run my hand through my wet hair. “Why did we?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You’re keeping things from me.”

I used to be the only one she didn’t keep secrets from. She told me things that happened with Jacob that not even Charlotte knows.

She hums in agreement, and I drag my lip between my teeth.

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you.”

Bullshit.

“There used to be a time when you’d tell me everything.”

This time, her smile is warm and genuine, keeping my rage at bay. “That hasn’t changed. But this is not just about me.”

What the hell?She’s not making it easy for me to get rid of the rage.

“Then who?” I screech.

“The people I love.”

“What does that mean?”Who the fuck is she protecting?

Is it Jacob? Is there something he’s done? Does she still love him even though she can’t stand him? For the longest time, I thought I still loved my brother, when at the same time I wanted to strangle him. Is that it? Has she still not seen the light?

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