Page 47 of Forgive You

Goody.

“Ford talk to you?” I roll my eyes, stealing the bottle back.

“Fuck yeah.”

The liquor burns my throat. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“You won’t even hit him if that’s how you’ve been spending your night.” His disapproval fills the small space between us. “You’ve been surfing with good old Jim in your system?”

My face wipes clear with any kind of understanding, because what the fuck?

“I’m an asshole, Cash. Not stupid.”

I’m angry as fuck, but I’m not depressed enough to go surfing drunk. I don’t have a death wish, and even though my ego is big enough, I’m fully aware that I’m not fucking invincible.

Otherwise, this shit wouldn’t hurt so fucking much.

“You called me Cash.” He tries to hold back the smallest smile, and I shrug.

“One day, the world will too, so I might as well get used to it.” I hand him back the bottle as a peace offering. “You here to rub it in?”

Damn, Ford.

He was blowing up the phone right after I walked out of Julie’s, and I’m gonna pretend it was a moment of weakness when he asked me how it went, and I actually replied with the truth. Stupid mistake.

“Hell, I was, but now I just feel sorry for you.”

“Great, just what I was aiming for.” I take another sip of the bottle, hoping it will taste better with each attempt, then rub my hand over my face.

The waves keep crashing into the shore at a steady and predictable pace, but here I am, feeling like the world is crumbling around me. It has been for months now, if I’m being honest. I ignored it. Pushed it back, as if my life didn’t feel empty without being able to call her whenever I felt like it, but it’s becoming harder to deny.

Fuck, I miss her.

“What are you doing, Jason?”

I can’t stand the pitying voice he’s using with me. “Having shots.”

I put the bottle to my lips again.Dammit,it still tastes like shit.

“I know something happened, but she’s your friend.”

My head gives a short wag. “Not anymore.”

“Is that why you were ready to rip Jacob’s head off when he put his hand on her at the gala? What happened between you two, man?”

I snort, regretting my snide tone before the words even roll off my lips. “She went back to Jacob one too many times.”

“Except she didn’t,” he challenges. “She broke up with him in the spring.”

He’s right. After today, I know I can’t kid myself any longer. They are not together, and that should make me fucking ecstatic, but there’s still something nagging that I can’t pinpoint.

“Something is going on with them and she won’t tell me.”

“Why the fuck would she?”

Yeah, okay, good point.

I briefly lock eyes with him before he continues. “You’ve been acting like an asshole. If anything, you proved to her you’re definitely related to Jacob.”