Page 141 of Forgive You

Jacob tauntingly throws his cutlery on his plate, then slouches in his chair, meeting my eye as he speaks. “Don’t you mean the blonde whore?”

I almost choke on my last bite, then grind my teeth. “Call her a whore again, and I’ll rip your head off on the front lawn, but only out of respect for our mother.”

“Shut it.” My mother slams her flat palm on the table, then her glare lasers around the table. “All of you. I do not know whereI went wrong with the three of you. Jacob, since when do we go around calling women whores?”

Jordan huffs, shoving his plate to the middle of the table. The kid seems angrier than I am and, secretly, the sense of loyalty is the only reason I have found the strength to not pull my oldest brother over the table and beat the shit out of him.

“Mama, with all due respect, open your eyes,” Jordan says.

“Excuse me?”

We’ve never told our mother anything about all the shit Jacob pulled over the years, wanting to keep her unconditional mother's heart intact. But I share Jordan’s frustration. She must have seen, even if it’s just a little bit, that it wasn’t just three brothers not getting along. There was a reason that Jordan and I would hang out all the time, but as soon as Jacob entered a room, we’d bounce at the first available opportunity.

We always wanted to shield our mother from his bullshit behavior, always avoiding fighting with him. But Jordan’s annoyance crushes my will to hold back the truth.

I sigh, finding my mother’s confused gaze. “What Jordan is trying to point out is that our older brother is an asshole. Did you know he cheated on Julie over and over again?”

Her big blue eyes widen in shock. “What? Is that true?”

“I’m a guy.” Jacob shrugs with not an ounce of remorse. “I have needs.”

Her mouth pops open. “Oh my god, you sound like your father.”

The utter disappointment that flashes through her gaze hits me in the gut. This is the reason I never wanted to tell her. I never wanted to be the son who ratted out the other. But it’s the lack of any kind of regret on his face that tells me it’s time to reveal the truth. It’s time she knows what an idiot her oldest son is.

A laugh bursts from Jacob’s chest, and my mother winces.

“Jacob. What is wrong with you?”

“Stop being such a prude.” He gives us a dull expression, no fucks given, then stops when they land on me. “Julie likes to get kinky.”

The ticking of my jaw is forceful, the grinding hard enough to turn grain into flower. Lava courses through my veins, as I breathe hard and deep through my nose.

“Didn’t she tell you?” He continues with a wolfish grin. “Next time you have her naked, film it. She’s into that kinda thing.”

He winks.

Confused, I look at Jordan, who shakes his head with the same sentiment.

I arch an eyebrow. “Excuse me?

“You filmed her?” Jordan asks for clarification.

A clarification I don’t want but need at the same fucking time.

“Oh, yeah,” Jacob confirms proudly. “I could sell it to Pornhub. Maybe OnlyFans. You know what, I should do that. I bet I can make a shitload of money with that. We’d call it:I fucked my brother’s girlfriend. You know, clickbait it a little?”

I’m not a hateful person. I’m not a violent person. But I hate this motherfucker, and I want to murder him with my bare hands. My heart is trying to pound out of my chest, ready to kick his ass.

He filmed her?

I want to convince myself that, apparently, I don’t know her as well as I thought. Maybe she really is into that shit, and I totally misjudged her. But in my gut, the way the hairs on my back stand up, and the shaking of my hand all show me that’s fucking bullshit.

I do know her.

I know her better than anyone.

There is no way in hell she’d let him film her.

---