Page 125 of Forgive You

My heart cracks and swells at the same time. I push my cheek against his, dragging him deeper against my body. He smells like flowery fabric softener and shampoo after his bath.

“Oh, I bet, buddy. But you know she will give you a special kiss when she gets home.”

“Really?” He beams up at me.

“Oh, yeah. Those mommy kisses are the ones that make you dream. So when you fall asleep and your dream about being a superhero or riding dinosaurs, you know your mommy is back home and gives you a special kiss.”

He takes in my words, studying my face. The ball in my throat grows to epic proportions when his green eyes narrow, as if he’s searching for my soul. This boy is going to break hearts one day, I swear.

Just like his daddy.

“Who gives you special kisses, Auntie Jules?”

I barely suppress the gasp that’s trying to break free. “I don’t know.”

His grin is wide. “We need to find one! Someone sweet!”

I chuckle, because the kid is not wrong. “Someone sweet, huh? Well, maybe I do know, then.”

“Yeah? Who?”

“Uncle Jason.”

Logan bounces in my arms, thoroughly onboard with that assessment. “Yes! You call Uncle Jason and he gives you special kisses!”

Thousands of butterflies try to break through my chest when I say it, tears welling behind my eyes again.

If I could only look at life the way he does. Simple, straightforward. Raw honesty.

When did my life become so complicated?

When I look back, I don’t even really know when. A whole set of bad choices and misplaced trust got me where I am today, and I’m the only one to blame.

I should’ve told someone. I should’ve asked for help. I could’ve done it differently.

So, why don’t I? Why do I choose to climb this damn mountain by myself?

Jason trusts me. I should trust him too. I should trust that we will figure this out together without blowing everything to hell.

“You know what? That is a great idea.” I smile at him. “How about we put you to bed, and I call Uncle Jason. Can we do that?”

He nods, and I lift him onto my hip to take him back to his bedroom. His small head rests on my shoulder, and a big yawn escapes his lips.

Warmth spreads through my body like wildfire, my heart expanding with it.

Suddenly, I miss my parents, longing for the small sense ofhomeI’ve had for the last couple of days to grow out of proportions. I’m enjoying my time in LA, especially with Jason. But it doesn’t beat the comfort and quiet I can find right here.

That simple small-town life with friends and family just a couple of blocks away.

Five minutes later, I step down the stairs with a little pep, when I notice a head of blond short hair through the window of the front door.

Excitement rushes through me, and I open the door in a hurry, grateful when my gaze connects with my favorite blues.

“Baby! I was just about to call you.”

But my excitement is gone like a popsicle falling into a frying pan. Gone before I can blink, the sudden change hitting me like a ball in the face. Pebbles trail up my arms, the hairs on the back of my neck moving up like antennas.

I study his set jaw with wide eyes trying to find anything to get rid of the knot that’s quickly forming in my stomach. But the harsh blue lines around his irises tell me enough, and when his eyes turn two shades darker, my jaw drops.