Page 107 of Forgive You

“What the hell are you doing here?” I shut the door behind me, practically shoving her off the porch. “How did you find me?”

“Cash’s story. I know he’s Jacob’s little brother. He posted about flying back to North Carolina and you’re in the background. I followed you here.”

“Are you stalking me now?”

“No! I’m not interested inyou,” she says, a little offended.

She looks like your average girl.

Washed-out jeans. Cream hoodie. Her hair in a messy bun. With pale skin and circles below her gaze, she looks exhausted. Like she’s been on a twenty-four-hour flight and she can’t wait to get to bed.

But it’s the wildness, the determination, in her brown eyes that tugs on my heartstrings more than I like. I admire that. Because it’s a level of confidence I haven’t found in the mirror yet.

She folds her hands together. “Please listen to me. Just two minutes.”

I feel for her. I really do. And maybe, if she didn’t corner me like this,again, I would take the time to listen to her. But right now, I’m not interested in what she has to say. Not when all my friends are behind that door, ready to go nuts when they find out the truth.

“This is my best friend's house. You need to leave,” I hiss.

“I know he hurt you too.”

“You don’t know shit. Leave.” I mean it.

But then why does my stomach twist, regardless?

Just ignore it, Julie. Go back in. She’ll leave.

I turn around to put my money where my mouth is, but her next sentence has me freezing like the air turned to a minus hundred in a millisecond.

“He bragged about it.” My breath is stolen away as she carefully continues. “Said no one ever dares to say no to him. Not even hisgirlfriend.”

The betrayal runs deep. It buzzes through my veins, but mostly I’m embarrassed. Humiliated. Regretful. Embarrassed because am I weak enough to let a man use me like that?Hurtme like that?

I’m humiliated because, apparently, he’s running his mouth about it. All this time, I told myself he was drunk. He didn’t mean to hurt me. He was just wasted and didn't read the signs well enough. Was too fucking blitzed out of his mind to hear my no.

I blamed myself for not being more persistent, more resistant, for not putting up a fight because he wasmy boyfriend. And here’s this absolute lunatic, opening his trap like it was a moment worth bragging about.

I didn’t stand up for myself enough. I should have punched him in the face and wormed myself out of his grip. But I didn’t. I let it happen, until the next day when I decided I couldn’t take any more of his abuse. Not verbally, but certainly not physically.Up until that day, Jacob had never physically hurt me. That night was the first time, but at least I was strong enough to draw the line there.

We broke up. That alone should make me feel confident, and strong. But as I continue to stare into big brown eyes that have been through the same as I did, I’m anything but strong.

My breakfast is threatening to come up, and I grip the railing of the porch as I move past her to keep my legs from buckling underneath me.

“Look, I get it.” I feel her gaze lasered into my spine. “You just want to forget and move on. But multiple women pressing charges will have a bigger impact than one.”

That son of a bitch.

He’s disgusting. I’m disgusted. I am not the only one? How many more are there?

Fuck.

She’s right. He needs to be stopped. I can’t allow him to hurt any more women.

But the second I think about it, the face of his brother pops into my head.

Jason.

If I betray Jacob. If I turn him in. Tell the truth, there’s no doubt what he will do. He will not take it out on me. He will take it out on his brother. Everything Jason has worked for in the past year, it will be all for nothing. There has to be another way.

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