Page 36 of Forgive You

Jensen: Nice! Did you two kiss and make up?

Jordan: If by kiss and make up you mean Julie busting his balls every chance she gets, then yes.

Jason: Okay, I’m done with this conversation, bye.

Bodi: This isnotthe moment to bail, buddy.

Jensen: You gonna leave us hanging like that?

Jason: Yup.

Hunter: You’re lucky I’m lined up for a diaper change, but this conversation is not over, asshole.

I let my head hang, deflating my lungs. Great, now Hunter is going to stalk me all night until I answer my damn phone. Not even considering the fact that my mind will be looping, wondering if Julie is alright.

Fucking get it together, man.

“Jay, are you in here? You cool?”

The door to the cabin opens, and the traitor who just threw me in front of the bus in the group chat pops his head in.

My eyes narrow while Jordan’s gaze widens at my glare. “Never mind, wrong door.”

“I’m going to kill you,” I growl before I dart off and chase my brother down the yacht.

10

You are a high risk and we need to do some more exams.

Yup, that’s what everyone wants to hear when they go to the doctor for something that was supposed to be a routine checkup.

Please God, if there is one, give me a fucking breather.

It’s like life keeps throwing stones at me, wondering when I will break.

Soon, really fucking soon.

Because let me tell you, I’m close.

After the yacht party, I’m having nightmares again, and the lack of sleep is not helping with my ability to cope with everything that’s falling apart around me.

The moment I saw those deep waters below me, every single emotion came rushing back in like a hurricane. Aiming to destruct and destroy. The panic suffocated my heart and as much as I’m grateful Jason pulled me out of it, it also doesn’t help. It’s just messing with my head more than I can allow.

My beaten heart has been swooning over his Superman grip when he quite literally whisked me to a safe space. It wasnothing short of a Marvel movie, and now I’ve been flipping between emotions for the past forty-eight hours.

One moment, I’m overwhelmed by grief, missing my family more than ever, and the other, I’m wondering if maybe Jason doesn’t hate me after all. But the worst thing is the temptation to call him that’s been sitting uncomfortably in my upper body.

To slip back into that old routine, even though the taste of rejection still fresh on my tongue prevents me from actually doing it.

I push all the hope out of my throat as I release a deep breath, dropping my groceries onto the kitchen counter.

I debated calling Kayla or Charlotte, asking for their words of wisdom, but I already know which way they’ll direct me. The one that will swell my chest with hope, and I can’t fucking have that. Hope is the recipe for disappointment. I’ve had plenty of that.

Should I tell them about my doctor’s appointment?

No, they’ll ask too many questions and worry. Especially Charlotte. She went through this too many times with her mother; I can’t put her through it again. Not until they are sure.

What if they are sure?

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