Page 31 of Forgive You

“Jordan!” I shake my head and throw Mike a warm smile. “He’s just kidding. Jason and I went to high school together. Our best friends are married. We run in the same circles. We–We’re friends.”

Yeah, that sounded convincing.

Jordan and Ford both look at me with their eyebrows up in the air, Ford mouthing asmoothbefore I try to kill him with a glare.

“Right, okay, great.” Mike takes another sip of his beer, then rubs his hands together. “How about we go for a swim?”

“Sure,” I say automatically before his question really lands in my brain, and I jerk my neck to face him. “Wait, what? No, thanks.”

“Come on! It will be fun.”

Discomfort trails up my skin, my stomach roaring in protest. “Yeah, no. I’d rather not.”

I fan my hand in front of my face as heat overtakes me.

“Why not? Come on, we can use a little cooldown.”

Before I know it, I’m scooped into the air, overwhelmed by a weird mix of some spicy cologne, panic gripping my throat as Mike’s chest burns against my shoulders. “No, no, no! Put me down. I mean it.”

He moves to the edge of the boat with long strides as I wiggle in his arms.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll hold on to you.” His chortle is playful, but my eyes dart around, the deep depths of the ocean creeping closer by the second.

My pulse thunders in my ears as I grip onto his neck for dear life, black spots blurring my vision. Mike laughs, moving closer to the edge, giving me a clear view of the handful of people already in the water.

“No, please! PUT ME DOWN!” I shut my eyes, unable to breathe as my throat grows thicker and thicker, fear suffocating me from the inside out. “Please, stop.”

It’s twenty years ago, but hanging above these endless waters, I’m jolted back into the past, the same terror threatening to paralyze me.

“Hold on, babe,” a faded voice booms.

No, please.Put me down. But I can’t speak as I feel like my soul leave my body. Remember what your therapist taught you;breathe. I’m trying, I really am, but I can’t get my chest to move past a gasp.Please, stop. My muscles cramp, my mind fading out before my senses slip away from me.

“Did you not fucking hear her?” a faint, familiar voice echoes somewhere around me, but I’m too far away to process.

“Relax, we’re just playing.” Mike’s voice vibrates in his chest, before I’m yanked out of his arms, my body falling limp against someone else's.

For a second, I resurface, sucking in as much air in my lungs as I can to use my muscles again to break free before a comforting voice settles me.

“You’re okay. I got you, Jules.” Jason holds me tightly against his body, but it’s the whiff of his sandalwood cologne that dares me to peek my eyes open.

Gone is the stretched-out darkness of the ocean, and instead I detect the opulent paneling of the inside of the boat.

My lungs shake, but this time in relief before I give in to his touch, burying my face in his shoulder. I’m safe.

Jason always keeps me safe.

9

Ididn’t wake up this morning thinking I’d have Julie in my arms before nightfall, but damn, it fucking feels good.

Better than it should.

Almost good enough to make me forget I’m pissed at her.

Her arms wrapped around my neck blissfully scorch my skin while I cradle her against my chest. She smells like sunscreen, but I can still detect a hint of vanilla when I secretly dip my nose into her hair.

“Breathe, Jules.” I take her down to the nearest cabin I can find, but her body keeps shuddering against my chest as she’s gasping for air.

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