Page 118 of Forgive You

“I know,” I sniff.

“Do you?” She lets go, cutting me with a sharp eye. “Because it looks to me like you’re trying to fight against the world all by yourself. Or should I say,Jacob.”

Everything freezes. My spine, my limbs, my fucking heart. My lungs. Definitely, my lungs. My tongue also refuses to move.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Charlotte saves me from choking on whatever stupid reply was forming in the back of my throat. “But I’m not stupid. I know it’s no coincidence that you broke up with Jacob and then packed your bags and moved toLA just a few weeks later. I know it has something to do with him.”

She lets go of me, moving toward the fridge. “The asshole is threatening you with something, isn’t he?”

I shut my eyes, willing my tears to move back, but when I open them, some still manage to spring free. “I can’t tell you.”

“It’s that bad?” She pulls out a couple of lemons, some ginger beers, and a bottle of vodka.

I nod.

If it was just about me, I wouldn’t care. I really wouldn’t. I don’t care what the world thinks of me as long as the people I love are unharmed.

But it’s not about me. Not even a fucking little bit.

“That son of a bitch,” she mutters, then pulls two tin cups from the cabinet before she starts making two Moscow Mules.

A smile breaks free, loving her lack of questioning. Her movement brings me back to when we were barely eighteen, and we would make Moscow Mules under the supervision of her mother.

I miss her mom. She was amazing.

The thought lifts the hairs on the back of my neck, and blood rushes down my face. What if I’m sick too? What if I’m doing that colposcopy and they tell me I can’t have kids? Nausea overwhelms me. I take in a deep breath until there’s no more room in my lungs.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I smile, then wipe my tears away.

“Look, Jules. You know you can tell me anything.”

I do know that. But this is different. This is serious shit. This isn’t some he-said-she-said. If Charlotte finds out what Jacob did, there’s no way she’ll keep her mouth shut against Hunter, and when Hunter knows, it doesn’t take long before Jason knows.

And when Jason knows…

“I’m so sorry, Charlie. You’re my best friend, and I trust you more than anyone, but I can’t tell you. Not this.”

Her expression softens, kind green eyes that remind me of her mother focusing on me. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m just sorry you feel like you can’t share this with anyone. Whateverthisis.”

“It could ruin lives.”

“But isn’t it already ruining yours?”

You have no idea.

“I have something else I have to tell you.” My cheeks hollow as I blow out a breath, while Charlotte holds up a tin cup.

The mix of sweets, bitters, and sours is welcomed on my tongue, and I let it linger in my mouth.

“What is it?” Charlotte sits beside me.

My stomach still twists a little. “I went for a check-up of my cervix a couple weeks ago. They found some disturbed cells. My gynecologist did a colposcopy. To check if there aren’t more disturbed cells.”

“A what?” Her eyes grow wide above her cup.

“It’s where they take a piece of your cervix to make sure you don’t have cancer.”

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