Page 108 of Forgive You

I fill my lungs as much as I can, then blow it back out to settle my nausea.

She’s right, but I can’t do what she wants right now. First, I have to find a way to make sure Jason will not be taking the fall with him.

I need to get that damn tape.

I spin on my heels to face her.

“I’m sorry he hurt you, I really am. But I will not be pressing charges against anyone.”

The sheer disappointment of her puffy cheeks breaks my heart into splinters. I feel her pain coming at me like a gust of wind, but I have to put Jason first.

“Why not? Why are you protecting him?”

“I’m not protecting him.”

“You are,” she yells, and I take a step into her space.

“Keep your voice down! You don’t know everything, okay?”

“I know he’s a fucking rapist.” Her voice breaks, and what was left of my heart breaks with it.

I’ve known for a while now. I’ve experienced it myself, though I still can’t believe that happened to me. But hearing it out loud? Yeah, that’s a whole different level of hurt that’s slapping me in the face.

But if I show her I care, she will bite her teeth into my flesh and she won’t leave until I do as she’s begging me to. It’s as clear as the feral specks dancing in her eyes. I need time, and she won’t give it to me.

The fact that she’s standing on my best friend’s porch tells me as much.

“That’s enough!” I snap. “You need to leavenow.Or I will call the cops.”

Her eyebrows knit together into a deep scowl. Whatever patience she mustered to have with me now gone with the fucking wind. She’s pissed.

I would be too if I were her.

“You know, I felt sorry for you.”Oh, damn.“But now, I realize you’re not a victim of his. You’re just as bad as he is. You enable him. You disgust me,” she spits.

Trust me, girl. I’m right there with you.

She stomps down the small steps, off the front yard until she reaches the sidewalk. With one more glare, our eyes collide, and she flips me off.

“You’re pathetic, Julie.”

Her words are like bullets to the chest. Painful, sharp, and hitting their mark perfectly. Because she’s right. I am pathetic. I should have never let it get this far.

I should have come clean with my friends from the start.

But instead, I tried to be the bigger girl. I tried to not be the bitter ex, out to destroy the life of the man who repeatedly cheated on her, until that wasn’t enough and he decided he could just take her as he pleased.

As soon as she’s out of sight, my legs drop to the ground as I squat on the edge of the porch. Tears paint my cheeks while I try to huff and puff my way to a steady breath again.

This shit was all supposed to end the moment Jacob and I broke up.

How did it get any worse?

Breaking up with him was supposed to give me my freedom.

Instead, it gave me shackles that are thicker than steel.

I focus on my breathing to calm myself down while wiping my tears away.

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